Can I have a word … Derek Jeter.

Dear Mr. Jeter,
I hope you are well. I have to say this because recently when I see you play you seem to be wearing more support strapping with every at bat and I worry one day you are going to appear in an all over body support that will leave you looking like an Olympic swimmer under those pinstripes. It’s concerning for a Yankee fan, who became so partly due to the intoxicating atmosphere at the old Yankee Stadium, but in no small part due to the fact that she was taken to a game by her sports fan father and brother and this very impressionable British girl took a shine to one of the many men trying to hit that ridiculously fast moving ball a redonkulously long way with what looked like a very small piece of wood. You were in your first couple of seasons then, and while your career has progressed from strength to strength, you’ll be relieved to know that my knowledge and love of America’s Game has increased beyond measure. I actually have a clue what’s going on now.  I know that while pitches always look fast they are actually traveling in several different ways.  I know that you’re NOT trying to hit the ball out of the park every single time because, well, there’s all this strategy.  I know that this game is an awful lot more complicated than it first appears, despite the assertion that its a simple game: you throw the ball, you hit the ball you catch the ball. I know that win or lose you roll with the punches, always play hard and NEVER cry. And I finally discovered what these Cracker Jack things someone is supposed to buy me are almost 10 years after I first heard that famous song.

I also know that there is no place I’d rather be than at a ball park, watching a game even though this is only a very rare pleasure for me given the whole “Atlantic Ocean gets in the way” problem. Because of this, I don’t call myself a true fan. I am simply unable to follow the team or the game in the way that I would like because of time zones, distances, etc. I can’t see every game. I guess I don’t have die hard loyalties to one team or the understanding of the game that comes with growing up at the ball park, but I’m trying.

I’m left with these questions and I figure you’re rocking the world of baseball as Yankee captain, so when it comes to the game if you don’t know the answers, well, there must just not be an answer.  That, and you seem like an all-round approachable chap (that’s British for nice guy), so I’m hoping you could take a few minutes of your time to read the musings of a confused Brit who just wants to understand the game you love and maybe clear a few things up.

Like, for example, why do some batters tap the plate with the tip of the bat before lifting it above there head? Is it a good luck thing?  Is it some tradition I don’t know about? Is it to remind you just how small the pitchers strike zone actually is, so you don’t freak out at the fact that a hard  ball is about to come hurling at you over 80 miles an hour? Does it help? Why do some players tap once… some twice, some not at all. It’s very strange.

Added to this the whole circling the bat above your head thing. Again, some do, some don’t. Does that help with momentum? Is it some odd attempt to distract the pitcher?  Why, Derek, Why ?

Moving on.. some other things I don’t understand: why all the spitting / chewing gum with your mouth open  / scratching… I know, I know… you are guys and its a guys game and well its just how ball players are, but really they are fowl habits and some traditions should be ended even in baseball. I’m telling you, Yankee captain or not, if you spit on the floor in my house I will show you the door and that’s a promise, so why spit all over the park? Eww… the gum chewing thing has me even more puzzled when you’re in the batter’s box, getting ready for your swing. Does the rhythmic chewing  help you there too, because I have to tell you with all that exertion I freak out that one of you is going to breathe in at the wrong moment sending the gum to the back of your throat and causing you to choke to death. Yeah, maybe I’m neurotic but you know it could happen!? OK… scratching the groin: I will never understand the need but also being a woman and therefore not encumbered with those… umm… additions to my body, I guess I can’t judge you.  It may be much more of a hindrance than I realize. I don’t know. So if you can’t avoid the need to rearrange in public, do you think we could at least have some type of camera man education program because, let’s be honest, the close up shots of an at the time faceless ball player rearranging the furniture are kind of distracting and NOT in a good way. I’m sure you’re not too fond of the world and his wife getting an eye full either?

I’m convinced that you guys are just so focused on what you need to do in the game in front of you, your next at bat, the next play, etc. that sometimes you forget where you are and just how many people are watching. I have to confess to being appalled lately when, during your recent encounters with the Braves, I caught some shots of the dugout littered with cups and all kinds of crap. How hard is it to find a trash can? Seriously?  I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that while watching a game I can drop my peanut shells allover the floor without a barrage of disapproving looks that shames me into picking them up… but my few shells are nothing compared to the mess in there. I pity the poor person that has to clear up after you guys. Do you have a trash can in there?

I could go on and on but you’re a busy man so I will leave it at that. Thanks for listening to a confused fan looking at your world through foreign eyes. Now get back to work because the Yankees are the best team in baseball and, at the time of this writing, we have at least 4 games to make up, if we want to prove it.  I’ll be rooting for you and the boys.  LET’S GO YANKEES!!!

All the best from a worshiper of the church of baseball

Ali xX

Falling behind.

I’m falling behind with my posting. The trouble is I have like a billion things I want to write about but for some reason the posts are just not coming together. Kayak Man got some great news the other day: the confirmation of his degree classification finally came through in writing and it puts him a grade higher than he was originally told. YAAAY. A very happy KM over here. So looking forward to his graduation, which should be some time next month.

I’ve missed 2 appointments with my dentist now – the first one because I was throwing up and so had to rearrange, and yesterday I got to the office for my 9.30 appointment having only had 1 and half hours sleep.  An hour later and I’m still waiting. You know something is wrong when you go to the reception desk and the nurse says “ohhh didn’t anyone come to talk to you?”  Ummm… no. Turns out my dentist’s previous patient had some type of medical emergency and passed out. Even though the patient was fine (phew), the dentist was now stuck filling out a mountain of paperwork that is required after such things and so I was given a new appointment 3 weeks from now!!

I’m spending a lot of time lost in my midwifery textbook. It’s fascinating but a slow read. So much information in those pages. I’m getting to the point now where I am feeling the need to acquire a dictionary of midwifery just so I can decipher some of these technical words. Sooo many long and complicated words to get my head around. Even though I’m getting used to seeing them written, I still have very little clue how you actually pronounce these things… but learning is so much fun! Still in the area of my midwifery aspirations I have finally finished my paperwork for volunteering at my local hospital and I have the interview tomorrow morning. Fingers crossed all goes well because I really need to get some actual experience before submitting my application. I have a lot of things lined up so I feel ok about it, but I would feel a whole lot better with some hours under my belt, that’s for sure. I’m getting a little nervous because without this stuff coming together I’ll be wasting a whole lot of money and time. Sometimes I’m so nervous about the whole thing it makes me feel sick. That’s what happens to me when I want something really bad but for some unknown reason my head has a hard time believing I’m worth it.  In fact, I had a major wobble about this a week or so ago. I just hate the idea of wasting other people’s time. Fortunately Gadget Guy was on hand to tell me how stupid I was being. Actually he’s a little smarter than that because somehow he never actually says I’m being stooped; he just talks me through stuff till I’m telling myself off for being stooped. It’s a pretty cool skill and I think it has something to do with all that life experience he has … not that I’m calling him old. He reads this ya know. (Edit:… hi… Gadget Guy here… you have NO IDEA HOW MUCH I have to read what Ali writes )

Ooo one final thing: Thanks y’all for the ideas and advice on my previous post. Some really cool ideas there.  I’m sure I’ll figure it out eventually. Right now eloping sounds fantastic but I think I’m just craving a holiday. It’s probably all the baseball I’ve been watching this week. I live too far from sunshine and ballparks lol

Now kick my ass so that I write some of those posts… Soon !

Ali xX

Crushed.

Crushed, embarrassed, hurting and fearful that things might carry on this way. That’s how I feel. What am I talking about?  How… HOW could the Yankees, my team, my boys – lose 22-4 against the Cleveland Indians? Seriously. 22-4. That’s historic. Who gives up 14 runs in one inning…?  ONE?! Unbelievable!  They say history is written by the victors. At least I guess WE won’t have to write about this mess then, which is probably a good thing seen as we are obviously slacking or lollygagging ( I love that word! thanks Dull Durham) or just plain losing our minds and failing to show up to the ballpark at all. YO GUYS… the game is baseball… remember!???  To use another quote “It’s a simple game: you throw the ball, you hit the ball, you catch the ball!” Right now,   your score: Fail Fail and Fail… there’s no excuses!  IT SUCKS… IT HURTS!

I wouldn’t mind… I lie. 22-4… are you kidding me? I’d always HATE that… but it would be more bearable if it was a one off… but no! That’s the third time in a week we have looked like the worst team in baseball. Need I remind you of the loss 5-15 Tampa Bay Rays home opener… loss 2-10 YANKEES NEW STADIUM HOME OPENER!! (WTF Nooooooooooooooooo!!). Uh huh and at one point our bullpen was so screwed and tired we gave the ball to Nick Swisher… umm yeah… look its not that I’m objecting to that choice… I mean when people are laughing at you… and you can’t beat them the best thing to do is laugh too SURE… I laughed… but things never NEVER should have gotten to that point in the FIRST PLACE!  Point is, stack all this up and I’m not laughing anymore. I’m CRYING. Make is stop.  Please God tell me we’re not gonna spend the whole season choking, because umm the Yankees have that reputation you know.  Everyone hates us… if we’re choking everyone else is laughing… Great. We’ll be the most expensive JOKE in baseball history.

Its occurs to me that right now… life is a bit like this. Crushed, embarrassed, hurting and fearful that things might carry on this way with the economy the way it is… and what were calling the credit crunch. I would guess most of us are either being crunched… or know someone – probably several people – we love who are (no names… but I certainly do). We’re surrounded by bad news. Sometimes it feels like we’re drowning it… and nobody has answers. When will it end!? How long do we have to live this way??… and even WHAT THE HELL DO WE HAVE TO DO TO FIX THIS !?

I love how people are looking around for someone to blame and there is certainly a lot of blame out there. I’m not disagreeing with blaming the banks, industry, government or whoever, but how about we FIX first BLAME later? People are dying out here having their whole lives ripped away from them. Can we focus on stopping the bleeding maybe and sort out who hit who later? PRIORITIES PEOPLE!

So many of us face uphill struggles – money… infertility…illness to name but a few, stretching into my future…  and all we can do is the same thing the Yankees should: Keep your head down, Ignore everyone else and focus on what you have got to do, what you can change… anything you have control over… play as HARD as you can everyday and never say die.

Its easier – soo much easier – said than done. There is NO CRYING in baseball… but in life, its allowed I’m crying too right there with you.

Depressing times.

Ali xX

Take me out to the ball game.

Gaget Guy's Awsome Opening Day 2009 Picture

“Well, beat the drum and hold the phone – the sun came out today!
We’re born again, there’s new grass on the field.
A-roundin’ third, and headed for home, it’s a brown-eyed handsome man;
Anyone can understand the way I feel.”

~ John Fogery (Centerfield)

OPENING DAY IS HERE… YEAH BABY ! Aherm…well, to be truthful, Opening Day was Sunday. What today actually was is the Chicago White Sox home opener. Ah ha I can see you looking confused as to why this matters after my previous LETS GO YANKEES outburst. Mmhum if it really bothers you, I’ll be sure to write a post about my baseball loyalties in the future.  For now let’s just say it matters to me. Deal? Anyways I have to wait until April 16th for the home opener in the Bronx as Derek Jeter and his boys start out with one looong ass road trip (which did not get off to the best of starts with a loss to the Orioles yesterday ). I’m sure you’ll hear from me again about that day, the new stadium etc. but for now come on back to Chicago ok?

First of all this post should have been written yesterday.  The game should have been yesterday but as ever the only predictable thing about Chicago weather is that it will be totally unpredictable so snow and freezing temps threw a spanner in the works yesterday and the game was shifted. At least the game was cancelled ahead of time. It’s not like fans sat at the park for hours before being sent home disappointed. Well not this time anyways. SNOW!? …this is NOT baseball weather.  It’s supposed to be spring ya know!

Of course I was not actually THERE.  No dear friends – I did not secretly fly across the pond without telling anyone for a baseball game.  Now granted I totally would make that trip JUST for a ball game. But you can bet you bottom dollar I would not go quietly. Everybody would know about it in a flurry of countdowns, disorganized packing and happy dance. Instead I caught the game courtesy of MLB.TV and from what I saw of the shivering bundled up crowd members I may… MAY have been better off sat warm at home in a comfy chair. MLB.TV is a new thing for me this year. I’m already beyond thrilled that I should be able to follow more games this season than I have in many many years, but that’s not what I want to tell you about.

Even thought the game was quite thrilling and Jim Thome’s home run in the 8th to give the good guys the lead was the second time I’ve almost choked from excitement this week (the first being a home run off the bat of Mr. Jeter himself). That’s not what I want to talk about either, however I have to note that I really should stop eating and drinking while watching these games in case next time the popcorn actually does get stuck at the back of my throat or the juice succeeds in its attempts to come out my nose… either that or I have to learn to remain calm and collected and swallow before squealing with excitement and/or punching the air with my fists, bouncing up and down over excited on the edge of my seat. Mmhumm and the chances of that are oh about equal to pigs flying, hell freezing over, winning the lottery…you get the picture.

Hmmm… what was it I DID want to talk about? Oh yes… Opening Day.  I’ve never actually been to an opening day game.  Never been on the right side of the water at the right time so far, but I have seen the ceremony that comes along with thanks mainly. It has to be said, to Gadget Guy’s video and photography and every time it gives me shivers down my spine. Today was no exception. It’s something I can’t explain. There seems to be something extra that you can’t quite put your finger on – something in the air as people say. Of course if you’re in Chicago that air is probably more likely to be a 35 mph wind trying to blow your face off and let’s face it only Die Hard fans would go to the park in that. I absolutely love the red white and blue bunting that the stadium is decked out in the park, itself dressing up for the occasion ..

I’ve never been able to explain why the American National Anthem affects me the way it does. It moves me every time.  The hairs stand up on the back of my neck. Actually it’s a source of a considerable amount of irritation to me. I feel so unpatriotic reacting this way to an anthem that is not my own. When the dirge that is God Save The Queen has no effect on me at best and causes severe eye rolling at worst and yet here I am biting my lip HARD so as not to cry for the land of the free and the home of the brave. I’m just about holding it together. I’m getting through it without a ridiculous show of emotion but when you add in the unmistakable sound of 2 US Navy Reserve VFC-12 Fighting Omar’s (that’s kick ass jets to the rest of us) ripping the sky open with a fly over AND top it all off with the unraveling of the biggest star spangled banner right over the playing field… the roar of the crowd… I am going down… I’m gonna cry you bastards. Damn it!

All this for a sporting event. Really? It’s over the top, its silly, it looks expensive… says my British mind.  It’s also undeniably packed with national pride, a patriotism that’s rare this side of the Atlantic. Yes it’s pageantry, it’s excitement, it’s atmosphere… are all totally utterly of the “Only in America” variety and I love it! I experience it with the wide eyed wonder of childhood excitement, intoxicated and inspired by all that is good in America.

I truly believe nothing terrible could happen to me inside the walls of a ball park aside form an embarrassing defeat of course, but more than anything it was here, watching this game that I feel in love with a country….and that is an amazing thing to experience.

Just give me tickets, a hot dog and a margarita… and if I do choke to death because of a winning home run at least I’ll die happy.

Ali xX

“People ask me what I do in winter when there’s no baseball.  I’ll tell you what I do.  I stare out the window and wait for spring. “

~Rogers Hornsby

Its time to play ball.

Yankees win! THE YANKEES WIN!!!  OMG it feels soo good to hear that again and if you know anything about my feelings on the Chicago baseball divide you’ll understand that a 7-4 victory over the Cubs is just that little bit sweeter.  Baseball is baaaaack !  And life suddenly feels a little better.  Admittedly it was only an exhibition game.  It’s not like the actual season is underway. But it’s coming… and that’s reason for GREAT JOY.  The first game in the Yankees new home. So strange seeing the old place still lit up just across the street. I feel utterly in love with baseball in that park even though I can’t describe myself as a true fan being on the other side of the Atlantic. Makes following the team kind of hard and in truth I only ever saw a few games in the house that Ruth built. Still I cried like a baby watching the final game and to be honest I had really no interest in going to the new home. I’m saying not that’s changed tonight but the new stadium does look great and one thing for sure I still love the Yankee pinstripes. There’s such a great feeling poised at the start of a new season full of hope – after all anything is still possible. Maybe the great thing about sport – you get a clean slate, a new beginning every year although I guess you have to ignore the expectation that come with previous success or the “curse” of a century long drought. This week it all begins again. Bring it on!  LET’S GO YANKEES!!

Ball games aside, I was at the job center again today to see the job broker and to be honest I feel a little like I wasted my time – I was only with the guy maybe 15 minutes. When you think that its a half and hour walk to get there and of course 30 minutes to come home as well – the appointment was kind of a non event. I wouldn’t mind but I don’t really feel like anything was achieved.  He was not able to get my CV off the floppy disk so no progress there. I suspected as much when I didn’t receive an email copy from him, so I had my back-up paper copy with me which he too was saying he was gonna type it up and work on it for me. By the end of our encounter he had handed it back saying I should type it up and email him. This isn’t really a big deal except that being dyslexic typing/spelling and punctuation are difficult for me to say the least. So the task that would probably take him all of 15 minutes will take me soo much longer and still need checking and correcting by somebody else – just ask Gadget Guy who fixes all of these posts for me. Poor guy. Still no biggie. I passed the thing to Kayak Man who is gonna cover the typing for me (HA see how I master the art of delegation!)

Moving on to job search – given what I’ve said about my disability above suggesting vacancies such as office assistant – a role that require great typing skills – is just not gonna work for me and TBH I could have check the job centers webpage at home on my own.  On the plus side he is going to look for colleges offering the access to higher education course as an evening class and I’m getting booked on the confidence building course that the company runs. I think this is a good option for me. I’m expecting a call with all the information on Monday and if nothing else at least I got a long walk in the sunshine.

I’m so pleased to say that I seem to have come through my latest phase of my eating issue and have managed to do three meals a day for most of this week – progress yay!  Touch wood. So far no terrible sickness from the Metformin though I do feel a little off for about 45 minutes after I take it but nothing I can’t cope with. AF showed up this evening too and this is the second month this has happened without the gut wrenching cramps that are usually my crippling warning sign  its about to make an appearance.  Evening primrose oil FTW!

Ali xX

K.S. Baseball baseball baseball… *Happy dance*

Back to the grind…

Yes, yes, I know. Technically, I actually came back from my weekend yesterday, but it was late and really I couldn’t wrap my head around writing a post because my brain numb from the boredom of sitting on a train for hours. Excuse me for pulling a sickie and not reporting in yesterday like I said I would.

My weekend was great! I had a wonderful time. I didn’t panic (not even in the noisy excitement and crowd at my first EVER football game) and if I told you everything that I got up to, well I’d be here for ages and would certainly get myself and possibly others in trouble. So let’s not do that. We’ll concentrate on the important stuff ok?

First, my diet went to hell.  It was a sinful couple of days. Of all the things I’m not meant to eat, washed down with far too much drink, be it alcoholic or of the fizzy sugar variety and it was gooood. Now that it’s over, I’m getting right back on track. Promise.  In my defense, it’s hard to stick to the diet I prescribed myself while visiting a friend. Really didn’t want to be rude with the “I can’t eat this. I gave up that, etc.” I decided instead that as I was taking a short holiday, the diet could, too.

That aside, I have to declare my love for baseball here. Actually, it surprised me. I haven’t told you about it already. Baseball is MY sport. I love it.  Could watch it for hours and hours, EVEN pass up chocolate or, heaven forbid, shopping – just to watch a game. I was ecstatic that my mate introduced me to ESPN America. It was a baptism of fire. We spent most of the weekend watching games from the World Baseball Classic till all hours of the night… or should that be morning! Even better, I can get this channel at home, thanks to Virgin who helpfully came ‘round to install new internet and digital TV service while I was away. THIS MEANS… I CAN WATCH BASEBALL FROM MY COUCH. My quality of life just went up a grade or two, I tell ya! At this point, I gotta have a serious word with my team … hay Yankees! What’s with getting beat TWICE this weekend by the ATLANTA BRAVES?!? You do know that’s my friend’s team, right? Do you have any Idea the S**T I took from him? Now, its only spring training and I love you guys, so I forgive of course but there better be some revenge in June. Pleeeeeeeease.

I realized this weekend just how much I miss Scotland. It’s odd I haven’t lived up there in years and most of the time I don’t really think about it, but every time I cross that border (and the sky goes black and it starts raining hehe) I feel a little better. My country is truly stunning.  I so much prefer the stone architecture to Merseyside’s red brick. Edinburgh is fascinating to me. I always think of it as my parents city, seen as its where they met , where my dad went to Uni and probably the place he was happiest in his life (waaay before my time, but I maintain his decent into unhappiness had nothing to do with me showing up. It wasn’t me, or if it was, it was unintentional. Honest!) There’s room to breathe in Scotland. There are towns and cities actually SEPARATED by wide open SPACE, unlike the continuous sprawl of suburbs I currently live in – where one town and city seems to melt endlessly into each other and it becomes hard to tell where one ends and the next begins. Merseyside is enough to make me claustrophobic. I need elbow room. I was much more upset to be crossing the border coming back than I realized I would be. I guess if the USA is number one on the places that make me happy, Scotland is running a close second. it does have the advantage though in that I don’t need a long haul flight and a visa to get in there. Scotland is a realistic relocation possibility, whereas America for now is an impossible dream. Perhaps I need to move the goal posts??

Despite the bright sunshine and blue skies, I felt downcast this morning. not sure if it was some kind of pining for Scotland or that my break away wasn’t long enough. probably just the fact that I have a cold that’s causing me to make numerous involuntary attempts  to cough up my lungs right into the palm of my hands just so my body can show you just how gunked-up they are. either way, I didn’t feel like writing tonight but I knew that if I didn’t, I’d be taking a giant step down that road towards “give up.” I did not do that. I came, I wrote… but I’m going to finish this one up quickly…

Got a lot of time to read the Narrow Dog on the train… enjoying it very much so far.
 
Despite my *blech* mood, I did go out today and enjoy the fresh air and the sunshine. .in fact, I went to the garden center to help Jon with a project of his own to turn our dismal concrete postage stamp of a back yard into a place where he can actually grow something.  I put up a bird feeder as my little contribution – wishful thinking. I hear you say well yeah… but still.

Been doing a lot of thinking and reading recently about PCOS. Its been absolutely great to make connections with other women experiencing this. I no longer feel alone and THAT makes such a difference. I can feel a post on this subject coming on hehe

Here we go – back to the grind as they say… business as usual tomorrow

Ali xX

K.S. Blue skies and SUN … in MARCH