School’s out !

I sit here writing next to a pile of completed college assignments which are all done dusted and ready to hand in tomorrow … school’s out for summer!  woot wooot   I swear I can almost here the Hallelujah Chorus looking at the 6 Assignments I’ve completed in the last week. YES 6! I literally got buried under a pile of biology topics as my tutor realized exactly how much she hadn’t covered that we still needed to be assessed on … We were left on our own at the end there… pretty much… except that every time I would go to school I would get handed yet another task to add to my heaving to do list. You get kinda sick of that after a while.  I burnt my fingertips last Monday on a Bunsen burner flame as I was attempting to grow an E-coli culture. Yeah, I know… stupid right? They stung like a bitch! lol Proud of myself for  A) not dropping the  E-coli bacteria all over the floor B) keeping my language family friendly (BIG achievement for me in these circumstances) and C) completing my assignment experiment despite my war wounds. Someone tell me when I’m a midwife someone else will deal with the microbiology ‘cause its clearly not my strong point.

Such a great feeling… except I don’t think it’s sunk in yet. I keep looking around at my books and notes wondering what I’m missing. I can’t quite relax yet as I keep feeling I should be working!  Now just to cross fingers and hope the results are good when they come out on July 1st…

So now what? Welllll… I have a ton and I mean big hayoooge piles of paperwork to complete to ensure that I can start university in September and that when I do I won’t be flat broke.  It seems the NHS wants to know my life story and needs copies of every piece of documentation I own. YIKES!  I’ll be working on that then.

Especially as my doctor doesn’t seem to have any health records for me so I’ll probably have to take all my vaccinations over again. I so love my arm being used as a pin cushion, don’t you?

Learning to drive continues … my instructor and I are now bickering as if we were family and my test is booked (ohhhh lordy). Nope, I’m not telling when it is … ‘cause you know PRESSURE! I’m seeing whole new areas of the world around me on my driving lessons… places I’ve never been to in three years I’ve lived here simply because my world is currently restricted to  well operated bus routes.. KM is already talking about all the things we can do “when you get your car Ali…”

Ohhh, one last  thing…  remember last year I did the 5km Race For Life to raise money for Cancer research UK? mmmhum I knew you would … I didn’t think I’d be around to take part this year but it turns out I’m freeeee! So, I’ll be taking part again on the 27th of June at Aintree Racecourse made famous as the home of the Grand National.

There are two reasons you should care so pay attention for a min ok?

1) Cancer sucks.  It’s awful. Really. Most of us know someone who’s fought that terrifying battle. More and more people are surviving, thank God, but still too many amazing fighters are not so lucky. It needs to END… like now… yesterday. I know it’s not much, me walking a measly 5km to raise a little cash which, lets face it, will be a drop in the ocean of what’s needed, BUT we will only get to a cure for cancer one step at a time. It all adds up. So I would humbly ask that you consider doing something. Sponsor me here if you feel so inclined, take part in an event of your own… make a donation… badger your mates to make one… whatever.

2) You might have seen from last year’s pictures that all the walkers wear these pink panels on their backs where we chose something to write about why we are walking … last year mine included dedications to BeautifulMess’s mom , In Due Time’s Aunt K and Geek By Marriage’s uncles among others. So, dear friends, if you have someone you would like me to walk in honor of or a dedication you want me to make please leave a comment and I’ll be sure to include them. Thanks!

Ohh and after all these are taken care of… I’m going to America!!  Ohhh summer… how I love thee

Hugs and kisses

Ali xX

My E-coli Creation

So much to do .. so far to go…

Quote: ” So I keep going keep learning… keep trying.”

Annnd it was going so well lol. Do you see posts almost every day for the first three weeks of January and then… nothing.  No talk of the devastating tragedy that is the earth quake in Haiti. No ranting and raving about the new body scanners being installed at airports… and I didn’t even get to the post I promised about George Clooney’s new movie “Up in the Air”.

It all started when I got a letter about a week or so ago inviting me to an interview at one of my chosen university Aaaah I’m so so nervous and I feel like I have so much reading and preparation to do. One week from today my fate will be decided at the very same time I’m getting hammered with college assignments.  We’ve just started an extra class which means another evening in college each week and currently I have three biology assignments on the go and a case study to write for health studies… don’t you hate when that happens? We’ve had vey little to do for a while and them BAM it all comes along  just at the most inconvenient time. I’m getting through it… but blogging kinda got knocked off the radar.

I’m having a bit of a wobble again this week. Well really after I was volunteering at the hospital yesterday during a very sad shift on the delivery suite… will I be strong enough? Will I be skilled enough? 

I just want to support and help I want to be able to do something. Heck sometimes I feel like I would like to take it all away and give birth for someone else. Very strange feeling.

Sometimes the whole thing makes me nervous and that’s worrying the hell out of me. I’m hoping praying that it’s just because right now there is NOTHING I can do.  I’m not trained; I don’t have any actual experiences of being at a birth. So when the odd occasion arises that I see a woman in distress I feel powerless and completely out of my depth.  Hoping this is somewhat normal and that with knowledge and experience it will go away. I can’t help but wonder if I’ll be up to it. I would so hate for even a single woman to suffer a lack of support when she needs it just because I choke.  Or because I think I’m up to the task when I’m just… not.  I found myself last night saying “I just wish I knew I was doing the right thing”…. to which a friend wisely responded “you’ll never be sure”.  It made me laugh but I think he could be right; never going to know for sure if I’m doing the right thing. Sucks, BUT I still feel like I’m meant to do this. I want to. So I keep going keep learning… keep trying.

And I’ll even be back to blogging about it soon…

Ali xX

Fail.

Failed as expected. Damn, but I am not as cut-up about it as I thought I would be. I think it has something to do with the fact that most other people also failed. If less than 10% of a year group actually passes the exam I’m thinking something isn’t right and apparently college agrees with me, I will not have to take a killer resit YAY. Instead I will have to submit a work sheet covering the areas I messed up on the exam paper to prove that I have learned from my mistakes. A work sheet – I can handle.

The time has come to be decisive. I’m drawing a line in the sand and deciding that my application form HAS to be submitted, so I’ve completed my final draft of my supporting statement this afternoon. I’m happy with it. I won’t be getting feedback from my tutor but instead I’m taking it to student service for the college careers people to look over. I’ve sent it to a couple of current student midwives and they’ve approved so hopefully my gamble will pay off. I neeeeeeeed to get this form sent its causing me so much stress. Fingers crossed, I can get an appointment tomorrow and it will be done… sent… out of my hands.

Moving on to the next step: I had totally forgotten that I’m going to visit my mum this weekend. I mean totally-need-to-rush-out-and-buy-my-travel-ticket-in-the-morning forgot. We’re going to visit one of my university choices on Saturday.  This place could be my first choice and I’m excited to see it even if spending time alone with mum makes me nervous. I don’t need to feel small around her now, right?  I have direction and commitment and some things to be proud of… at least there’s a time limit on the trip. I have to be back for an interview and college Monday. 4 days.  I can handle 4 days. Uggh wish me luck.

Ali xX

Finding Answers

I chose flat broke for a year, thanks to my college agreeing to a payment plan so I can break this huge bill down. I believe that with a little luck I will just be able to cope. Hopefully, somewhere along the way, I can transition from benefits to working anyways. So, for the moment, I am still in college, Yaaay!! In a way, perhaps it’s a good thing. It’s made me think about how much I want to do this and given me even more motivation to make this year count, after basically devoting all my spare income to this college course. I have to carry on to make sure that I give getting into university my best shot and be prepared to try again next year if needs be. So, this week my head has been full of the workings of microscopes and cell biology and a lot of long words to commit to memory. Here’s hoping there are no more financial bumps along the way.

I also managed to find a second lecturer to provide the missing reference that I need so hopefully that problem is also on the way to being solved. I’ve been given an amazing opportunity to spend two weeks undertaking work, shadowing in the maternity section of the hospital. I’ll be doing 9-5 Monday to Friday and it all starts NEXT WEEK!  I’m soo thrilled I’ll finally have some experience for that application. I’m so excited and honored that I’ll get a snapshot of my chosen profession. I want to try an learn as much as I can just through observation and reflection and I believe the experience will mean I can make a more informed final choice about weather midwifery is definitely for me. SOOO EXCITED!! … and also … nervous as hell. This will be my first working week in 3 years – longer days than I am used to. I want to make a good impression. I don’t want to get in the way, make a fool of myself, fall on my face… and in all honestly I’m a little terrified that I might have a panic attack and make a complete mess of things, but I’m trying to ignore that voice that’s telling me I can’t do this and carry on. After all, this placement is part of the plan.

I finally went to the doctor about my blood pressure. Yes, I know I left it longer than I should but I have to psyche myself up to going to see the doctor. Those around me had been nagging for a few weeks so I finally committed to going. BP is still higher than it should be, although the reading is coming down from where it was when I was first told to go. My reading was 140/80. Yeah, see, I ask for the numbers now. Conclusion: I should go back and have the nurse check it twice in the next month so my doctor can get a better picture of what’s going on. I also have a strained ligament in my right elbow that’s been bothering me for a few weeks. It’s not pain, it just doesn’t feel right. Dr informs me it may take a further 4 weeks (maybe a lil more) to get better.  Blech.

Dealing with problems… resisting the urge to run away… not giving up… finding solutions and answers… that was what this whole plan was about right??

Ali xX

Road block.

Usually I love to receive post letters, parcels, postcards… and today I thought I was doubly lucky. The two items that KM woke me up with this morning looked nothing like bills, so I ripped open the envelops with a little to much gusto and overflow of curiosity… and that’s when I knew today was one of those days.  Uuugh bite me Saturday. I mean, I expect this kind of behavior out of Monday but on a weekend for real?

I will receive no financial help with my tuition fees for college despite being on a very low income because I already hold a higher qualification (BA in Drama and English and clearly not going to help me chase this midwifery dream).  There is nothing they can do for me. So what were a few hundered pounds that I was struggling to find is now a full wack bill for around a grand and I am – to put it politely – screwed.

There is no way I can find that type of money before the enrollment deadline in mid October. No way. I need to call on Monday and find out how much exactly I owe. I need to figure out if there are any payment by installment options. The thing I dread most of all: I may have to go cap in hand to my mother and ask for help, which at 27 is embarrassing and makes me feel pretty worthless and I do believe I would feel that way even if I was close to her which I’m not. I don’t hold out much hope that the humiliation will keep me in college but at this point I’m grasping at straws anyway so what the hell. Keep your fingers crossed for me.  By the end of the week I’ll either be out of college or utterly flat broke for the rest of the year :S

And then we come to the second item: a letter from the Women’s Hospital where I am trying to volunteer to say that they have not received the required references yet they were requested back on the 19 of August and I have already chased both of them more than once. I have till the 16th to get the references back or the hospital will close my application to volunteer. So, of course, I got right on the phone to find out exactly what was needed from me  only to realize after leaving an answer phone message that today is Saturday and the office is closed.. Cue me feeling stupid.

Volunteering is an entry requirement for my university choices and without it… well I may as well give up on finding those fees.  There’s a good chance I’ll be financially crippled for a year only to fail to gain a place. I have got to make my application as strong as I can.  It’s so incredibly frustrating that I have done everything required of me and it looks like I’m going to fall at the last hurdle. It’s go big or go home time for me.

I feel like things have fallen apart today, my hands are tied till Monday …

Can you say Stress!?

Ali xX

The cogs are turning…

I was not expecting to score 86% on my science test and be placed in the top group in college, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t put a smile on my face. Surprises like that give you just a tiny boost of confidence that maybe I can pass this course! This week I’ve been busy revising all I need to know about atoms; what they are made of, how they join together and why we need a periodic table. Can I just tell you of all the sciences, chemistry is the one I really sucked at in school… so us starting with that feels like cleaning all the rust away in the “knows about science” part of my brain and attempting to turn it on after 10 years of being powered down and forgotten about. For a while there I don’t mind telling you the lights were flickering but nothing was happening. I was getting worried and then slowly but surely things started to fit back into place and make sense. Now I’m having such a good time learning again! It makes me feel useful and gave me back a little self confidence that yes I do have a brain and when needed I can use it pretty well!  Something which I desperately needed reminding of after almost 3 years out of work.

Now I have homework notes to write, things to read. I have purpose and ambition .

And its sooo frikkin’ cool … just saying

Ali xX

If at first you don’t suceed…

Third time lucky! I have finally had my occupational health check with the hospital and I’m happy to report I got the all clear. It was far less intimidating than I thought it might be, in fact. The department is tiny and staffed by a handful of very friendly nurses and doctors. It was explained to me that they had to call me in due to the amount of further information I had added on their health questionnaire, but that it shouldn’t be a problem because I had disclosed everything. After talking it all over, it was decided that while these things are a pain in the backside for me they shouldn’t actually limit my ability to do the jobs I’ll be given as a volunteer so long as I myself keep an eye on things. And so the letter was signed and another step in this process checked off.  Now I just need to wait for the CRB check to come back. This could take a while given the number of address changes I have had but I’m not anticipating any issues. So today I feel much more confident that the volunteering thing will actually happen. YAY! I was even mature enough to have a blood sample taken without prior warning to psyche myself up for needles and the like. Uh huh… I watched. I did not freak out when the nurse told me I had a really deep vein and spent some time trying to find it.  I did not have a panic attack.  I refused her offer to let me come back and have the blood drawn later (because you knoow how long it would have taken for me to get off my butt and organize that) AND  I DID NOT PASS OUT  afterwards, even though I did feel a tad dizzy and eww … Go me!

I also received the paperwork today for another volunteer opportunity that I’m really excited about because this one offers the possibility that I’ll get some work experience actually on the maternity wards.  I have the first interview session on Monday, so I’ll be form filling again this weekend and hopefully the process will start all over again for a second hospital. At least I’ll be less nervous this time!

I finally gave in and called college to try and find out when my start date will be and ask about my special needs assessment that I thought was part of the conditions of my offer, only to be told I have been made an unconditional offer of a place so I will definitely be going to school in September. I can’t wait, now – so excited! I did also find out that there is no confirmed start date as of yet as the course leader is away on her summer vacation, but it will be sometime at the beginning of September and I’ll hear as soon as they know. Well that puts some of my plans on hold till I have the information, but at least I’m not sitting here freaking out that something has gone amiss. I now know that nobody enrolling on the course has heard and it’s not JUST me … what a relief!

All in all, things are moving along… just slowly…

Been struggling for a couple of days now with awful headaches and a little disturbed vision. In fact, I’ve been in bed resting as much as I can falling in and out of sleep and unable to focus on much. Turns out my blood pressure reading was too high today at the health check and I have to go see my GP for a follow up check. So maybe the headaches are related to that.

Yes, I’ll make sure to book the appointment… soon

Ali xX

Feeling his age.

Ever since our babysitting trip on Friday, something is not quite right with my Kayak Man. He seems sullen and really a bit depressed. In fact, I even witnessed him crying but we won’t tell anyone about that now, will we internets… because he does not like people to know that he cries real tears like the rest of the human race. No he does not.

This is most unusual and rather worrying because, let’s face it, the role of emotional mess is sooo taken care of in this relationship. I got it covered and then some but if there’s one thing worse than crying my eyes out  its watching him cry because pah I cry allll the time. KM NEVER cries and when he does it kills me.  I wish I could just wave a magic wand and make it all better. Where is his fairy godmother anyways? can someone tell that biotch she’s late.

I knew something was up from the topic of conversation as we walked over to his sister’s. First he starts openly talking about how he’s almost thirty and straight away I’m alll shhhhhhhh we don’t talk about that because I’m only 1 measly year younger than you and and if you’re almost there that means I’m RIGHT BEHIND YOU. AAAHHH!  But it gets worse… just as I’m pushing the thought of the big 3-0 out of my brain he goes on to say that he’s technically middle aged.  Cue me WHAT Excuse me????  Apparently this conclusion was reached by him taking the average life expectancy for a bloke (currently 76 in the UK according to good old Google), dividing this figure by three puts him just into the second third of his life and therefore he deduces just into Middle Aged!!!!!!  OK see, at this point It’s all I can do to keep listening and not freak the heck out. I …*I* am not ready to contemplate this label yet, I can tell you that for nothing. He assures me its ok I have a few years to go as female life expectancy is actually higher (currently 81 -  goggle is my friend ) Pheeeewww. I breathe a sigh of relief . We said no more about it the rest of the way, but I was quietly left thinking that KM needs a job or something to do soon as he has far too much time on the couch to think about these things apparently.

I thought it was over, but I was not so lucky. Today he opens the conversation again stating that right now he feels about ten years behind his life plan. You know where he thought he’d be age thirty. Whooo Boy… tell me about it. I mean at one point in time I literally thought life would be worthless after 40 (sad but true). I figured by thirty… well lets just say I didn’t think I’d be where I am now.

I feel for the guy. I do. I mean currently we still live in a house owned by his mother. His parents are instrumental in supporting him/us financially (to be fair here, KM did work for several years and went back to college full time because his parents suggested it and offered financial help). Currently we are both desperately looking for work; he after three years out at college and me after almost 3 years out sick. (Yikes its hard to type that). Right now life seems hard and so far from what we both imagined. And that’s before you even get into all the “I wanted to have kids by now “  heartache.

I’m so proud of him for going back to college and trying to better himself/his prospects/his future… whatever.  I desperately want to follow his example by returning to uni next year. Both of us are working at getting to a place we want to be. There’s even the potential of major change /relocation next year, something that we both are aiming for, so it’s not all bad… but sometimes it feels like wading through treacle.  It’s hard going and KM seems a little bogged down and stuck. Well I guess in all honesty we both are in a bit of a funk at the moment, but I’m hoping he can catch a break soon because… he’s a proud guy, he’s been through a lot and built his self esteem up from a very low point. He deserves it. He needs it.

Is this what they call a quaterlife crisis hmmm??!!?

Ali xX

The results are in.

I was upstairs in the back room, quietly tagging baby clothes donated to the Red Cross store, listening to Lily Allen’s “Not Fair” on the radio when the door at the bottom of the stairs squeaked as it opened and the person responsible yelled my name.  “Alison, there’s someone here asking to see you” he yelled.  Now, due to my fear of leaving the house over the last two years I don’t really know anyone in the area, so I’m thinking it has to be Kayak Man, and seeing as I just left him less than 40 minutes ago I’m confused and a little shocked that he would call me down from upstairs to see him when I’m going to be home in about three hours.  By now my heart is racing as I go down the stairs, wondering what has happened, and to who, and thinking it must be bad news for him to disturb me at work.  My heart sinks when I see his face pasted over with worry and sadness.  He looks somehow smaller than he usually does and he asks me to come outside with him.  My brain is saying “OMG! Somebody died!” and listing my older relatives, preparing to be hit by terrible news.

“I’ve got my results. I passed, but I only got a third.”…..pause while I absorb the information and my brain frantically tries to take a step back from red alert to process what he’s telling me.  So nobody died, thank God.  No disaster, injury or horrific accident….also great news…  I’m slowly backing away from panic.  Let me get this straight…he passed.  He has a degree now and is admitted to that club of people calling themselves graduates.  Shouldn’t he be celebrating going out for dinner, calling his mum?  Yet here he is looking like he’s going to cry (he never cries – it’s most unmanly)….yeah, my brain is doing all this and I’m stood like a lemon ’til this little voice pops up; “Ali.  Give me a hug.”  DUUUUHH!  I think my heart just melted and I’m trying to kick my own ass for being so slow on the uptake.

Many hugs and much talking later, I have made some sense of the situation.  He’s gutted that his classification of degree is not as good as it should have been.  He feels like a failure; like he’s dragged himself through three years of study for nothing.  He’s terrified he won’t get a job, but most of all he’s upset for me!  Because he wanted to look after me and give me all these things…and…wow.  He feels so low he’s even saying he might not bother attending his graduation.

That’s just so very sad, because honestly I don’t know anyone more determined to get a degree than he was.  It goes all the way back to 2001 when we met.  I was a fresher, just out of high school, super excited at actually living sans the strict boarding school regime for the first time, and yes totally clueless about the fact that it really is wise to chose a degree that might lead to a job at the end of three years….pah, three years seems like forever away, so I wasn’t going to worry.  He, on the other hand, had already been to his first freshers week and hoping for third time lucky.

History unfolds like this; he actually got much better results than mine on leaving school in 1999 and enrolled on a law degree, something which he is passionate about and actually to this day I believe he would have been amazing at because he just has vast amounts of room in his head for remembering information, rules and regulations.  That, and to be honest, he’s always firm-handed and takes no messing about, but under it all he’s very compassionate and caring.  Anyways, the living away from home hit him hard, and despite that during his first year he was scoring decent grades, he was also drinking far too much and becoming isolated.  By the time he pulled out for personal non-academic reasons, he was lonely, severely depressed and an alcoholic (the mere mention of which made me quite scared of him when we met).  He pulled out and just flat out decided one day that was it – he hasn’t had a drink since.  A year later he re-enrolled at a different college to study an English degree.

Unfortunately, due to an admin error, what should have been a BA in English Literature with a minor in psychology turned out to be a Joint Honors English and Psychology degree.  The college in question never admitted their error – saying only that he should have noticed the discrepancy on the enrollment forms (the matter of a code being one digit different).

He had to admit defeat this time – the maths involved in psychology was just too much for him and the subject just didn’t hold his interest.  When we met he was enrolling for a third time to read pure BA in English Literature.   As well as studying full-time, he worked full-time too – pulling in between 30 and 40 hours a week – at a local bakery.  It was about two months after we met that he finally had a day off – that’s how much he was working.  He always agreed to extra shifts when the short-staffed manager asked, and he never called in sick, ever.  In short, he worked himself out of college again.  Totally demoralized this time, he left for good in 2002 – or so I thought.

It was always a source of bitter disappointment to him that he didn’t get his degree (any of them), and his parents’ attempts at gentle humor on the matter did nothing to help.  Despite his own sadness though, he still made sure that he was there to see me and my classmates don caps and graduate – something which I know he found harder than would ever admit.

In summer 2006 he decided to go back and try again, this time choosing a degree in Software Engineering for reasons I can’t explain except to say that he’s all but married to his PC.  He worked through the first year and passed that milestone into the second year – further than he had ever reached before.  There was much rejoicing.  The second year was almost impossible for him.  He was working full-time again – he couldn’t afford not to – this time working nights in a call-centre (which he hated), which left him too tired to attend all the lectures he needed to.  It was no surprise at the end of the second year when he had to re-sit half of his classes.  When you re-take a failed exam, you can only achieve a passing grade of 40%.  It doesn’t matter if you get full marks or just scrape through; everyone who re-takes a failed exam just get’s 40% for it.  So his year average for the second year was dragged down.  He quit his job there and then.

Now we’ve reached the end of his third and final year, and I know the results are a disappointment for him, and in this credit-crunching time when it seems like the world has everyone else by the balls and is not playing nice, I know he’s scared and to be truthful so am I.  Still, regardless of the grade and the fact that his attendance record was less than perfect, the boy done good.  He worked his butt off for that piece of paper.  He also was supporting and taking care of me as best as I would let him – through illness, refusing to eat and through hormonal tornadoes etc.

It takes determination to keep trying after failure upon failure – it takes balls to go back four times believing that you’re good enough and that you can do it.  It’s about knowing what you want and going for it however long it takes you.  I could certainly take some lessons away from all this about that.

And after all that, he’s stressed because he’s worried he won’t be able to look after me.  Kayak Man, I’m so damned proud of you right now.  You totally ROCK and I luv ya.

Now get your ass to that graduation and hold your head up high or ima kick your butt!
Ali xX

The 2 MONTH wait !?

I did actually go out to the weekly Red Cross meeting tonight despite not actually feeling much better than yesterday, but I was able to get my paperwork started. I’m on my way to becoming a full volunteer with uniform and ID badge an all, which should mean that eventually I can actually do public duty as a volunteer.  W00t! From what I’ve heard, these things can take a good few months so I’m not gonna hold my breath, but hay at least the process is started. They have some very interesting additional training courses coming up too, all very exciting.

As you’ll gather, I’ve not really been feeling myself so I’ve let some of my posting slip, so let’s try to bring things up to speed.  The company I had an interview with a couple of weeks ago got back to me and unfortunately I wasn’t successful this time (I kind of knew that already, still… BOO   ). When I asked for feed back or anything I could improve on in the interview, got nuffin… NOTHING. Actually she said she was very pleased with how things went and so was her boss.  YAY GO ME! It’s just they did have a lot of applicants and this time the position went to someone with a little more experience. Mmhum… totally understandable.  They ARE keeping my information on file and will possibly be contacting me about another vacancy in a few weeks and they WOULD like to have me apply again in the future.  So I guess that’s as good as the bad news (I didn’t actually get a job) can get. Actually, I’m very happy about the outcome at least I now know I can go to interviews and not embarrass myself and that’s always a plus.

I thought the hospital had forgotten my application to volunteer with them as I hadn’t heard a peep out of anyone over there since I sent the form in before Easter, BUT it turns out they have actually contacted my references. It’s great when the references are friends and actually call to tell you these things. Both my loyal mates have done their bit and the information was sent back at the beginning of this week, so at least I know things are still ticking along on that front, all be it sloowly.

Talk about slooooow… my college application is killing me.  I thought I had a 4 week wait till I would find out if I’m accepted onto the course that I soo want to do next year and was super SUPER excited when I received a letter from said institution this week  UNTIL I opened it up.  The form letter was to let me know my application had been received (YAY) and that they will be in touch again when they start the selection process IN JULY!  Wait… July? I have to wait 2 whole months!! … 2 months… the nail biting continues… gotta keep those fingers crossed longer too!

Kaykak Man moved on from grilling… to trying to MAKE/BURN his own charcoal. Yes you read that right.  Uh huh… he may be crazy. All I know is it makes one hell of a lot of needless mess AND seems to make a fun hobby like grilling good food needlessly complicated and annoying. I’ve tried everything to make him stop: reason, nagging, more reason… THE LOOK… the exasperated WTF are you doing sigh.  I’ve pleaded, I do not beg… but NOTHING is working and even though the first batch was a disaster and had him black from head to foot so that he looked like he’d been stuck down a Welsh coal mine for about 3 weeks, apparently he’ll be trying again soon because “he knows what he did wrong now”.  Yeah I’m banging my head against a brick wall. Oh oh… he sliced a notch out of his finger with a knife while I was out the other day and refuses to go and see anyone until it goes green. Yeah that’s what he said – IF it turns green because of infection then he’ll go see someone. There’s gonna be a permanent dent in that finger for sure. We’re not talking about a small cut here. Yet more proof he’s not only crazy but almost as stubborn as me. Sheesks!  On the plus side he only has TWO exams left. Yeah he FINNISHES his 3 years of Software Engineering degree in to weeks!!! I could dance for joy, but I won’t until I know he actually passed. I’m so excited for him and and and… Finally I might be able to stop worrying about him and his attendance record at school.. I CAN NOT WAIT!!!

Ali xX

K.S: Woohoo for actually going outside and keeping to commitments even when you feel awful… that’s grown up behavior, that is!