Something in the water ..

A few weeks ago, I started volunteering with the British Red Cross. I’m training with them to become a competent First Aid Volunteer and so far, touch wood, its going well. Unfortunately, all indications are that it’s going to take a long while before I can actually go out on duties with them and give local events First Aid cover. Seen as how not only do I need to pass my standard First Aid certificate, but I also have to fill out all the reams of paperwork needed to get my red cross ID… and there’s a lot of it. The one that’s going to take the longest time is the full CRB check (that’s Criminal Records Bureau for you non- Brits). Unfortunately, here in the UK these things are not centralized, and so the check has to be sent to each police district that I have lived in for the past… umm… 5 years I think it is. Only when I get the all clear from all of these can I go on to work with children and vulnerable members of the public, which of course is part of being a Red Cross Volunteer. Now this would not be soo much of an issue except that i have moved at least 6 times in this time frame. Soooo I’m going to be waiting a while … and really that’s quite frustrating when I want to be getting out there doing things.

I’ve been so impressed by all the services that the Red Cross offers even just in my local area, that I wanted to try and do SOMETHING while I’m waiting.  This week I started three afternoons a week in my local Red Cross charity store. I’ve worked several different retail jobs in the past so this is a pretty easy thing for me to do. It’s a small store, not fantastically busy and nowhere near the department store hell of my previous experience. That being said, I don’t like retail work. There’s no way I would take a paying job in that sector because it drives me insane.  I’m doing this to help out the charity. Oh and well it gets me out of the house in a regular routine dealing with the public again which hopefully will help my confidence. I feel I’ve settled-in quite well. It’s a friendly team, easy to get on with, so that’s great.

Even with just my Basic First Aid. I’ve already been listed at the stores Second Official First Aider- something which did not at all faze me until the manager mentioned that in the time she has been there they have had one heart attack and a stabbing right outside the shop to deal with. Funny how she only mentioned this AFTER I had agreed to the extra role. No more stabbings please. Lightening doesn’t strike twice… RIGHT??

There is a reason I bring this up and it’s not all about you clapping me on the back for doing charity work. The amount of heavily pregnant women I serve in this store is STAGGERING. I mean, at least two for each afternoon I’ve been there which is CRAZY when you consider that I’m only really there for 3 hours at a time!  Like I don’t know what’s going on…  Is there something in the water where I live? Are they drawn to my infertileness in the same way cats are drawn to the one person in the room who’s allergic/afraid?  What’s the possibly some event here nine months ago that I missed a wild party that resulted in a lot of drunken sex??  WHATS GOING ON!??

Twice now my manager has joked about emergency deliveries right there on the shop floor and I’ve sat there firmly in the infertile closet biting my tongue and laughing. BIRTHING IS NOT ALLOWED. I haven’t covered that part of my first aid manual yet. In fact I don’t even have the manual yet!

It’s freezing here this week and I’m still taken aback by how little some of these ladies are wearing: belly all out on show for everyone to see.  Not that I have a HUGE problem with it but… it makes my insides twist and a lump in my throat when I sat there watching the shop floor, turn my head and come face to face with the naked baby bump in all its glory, poking out little belly button right in my eye line… how is she not shivering??

Many many rainbow moments this week…

Ali xX

Show and Tell

It show and tell time again. This week I’d like to share my small success with the class.  On Saturday, I undertook the 8 hour Basic First Aid Training with the British Red Cross.  It’s training I have done before about 5 years ago and I was amazed by how much advice and safe practice guidelines have changed in the past 2 months, even.  Not only am I excited that the first step in my route to becoming a full Volunteer is complete, but I truly believe this small amount of training is something most people should do. It’s not hard at all though it can be a lot of information to take in and I’m so glad I have my handouts to read over… but knowing how to help someone in medical distress is so very important. You just never know when you might come across a situation where what you are able to do could save a life. From now on I’ll be carrying a basic first aid kit at all times, hoping I never need to use it. I’ll be going shopping this week for a slightly bigger bag to hold it too, I think. No need to feel guilty if its for such a good reason.

I Passed Woot !

Make sure you check out what the rest of the class is showing.

Feeling Blaaa..

I got an interesting phone call this morning from a company I was on course with back in December, said course designed to boost my confidence and get me back into work. While it may not have succeeded in the employment part of this aim, which was a tall ask anyway seen as in total I was only working with them for 6 weeks. It was a fantastic boost for me and gave me some self belief back and a sliver of motivation.  It may, in fact, have been one of the first tentative steps towards recovery that I made. Basically the call was asking permission to put my CV forward for a hotel receptionist vacancy in Liverpool. Of course I said yes! I did this job before and loved it, despite the long hours and many challenges it brings. I actually think I was quite good at it.  The trouble is its so long since I’ve made any form of application for work that its kind of hanging around in my mind a little. I know the best thing to do in this situation is just not to think (read worry) about it. Whatever happens… happens…  but I’m finding it hard. I so badly want to be back in work.

Second week at the weekly meeting for Red Cross volunteers this week I learned good old CPR… mouth to mouth… kiss of life…  whoa there steady on.  I’m glad we went over this as every time I learn it accepted practice seems to change. The kiss of life actually now appears to involve a lot less mouth to mouth  breaths and a lot more chest compressions which now take place right between the nipples.  I’m glad I got updated while of course hoping that I am NEVER in a position of needing to use it.  First aid is one of those things I truly believe everybody should learn. I mean it doesn’t take long… its not that hard… and seriously these little pieces of information save lives. It should be taught in schools or something. I now have extra class with the Red Cross on a Wednesday night as I work towards my standard First Aid Certificate. I’m so pleased I’ve been offered this opportunity so soon after joining. I mean I don’t even have all my paperwork in yet!

Yup my tits are STILL bugging the heck out of me… and that’s all I have to say about that.

I have this lingering sadness today. I’m not really sure what the why is. Worrying about people, friendships… feeling a little bit numb, like I’m  in the way rather than making a valid contribution. Sort of like the changes I’m trying to make are small, insignificant and pretty stupid. I’m hoping its short lived, but it kind of means I’m at lost for what to talk about. I’ve tried to put into words how I feel and what’s bothering me, but its just not coming together right. I can’t explain it. Not right now anyway. Lack of motivation… blaaa..   

Ali xX

K.S. can’t wait for my first aid training!

Red Cross Newbie

Tonight was my first time meeting with the Red Cross branch in Birkenhead and all in all it seemed to go quite well. I’m feeling great about the fact that I did not procrastinate using the fact that I could barely scrape the bus fare together as an excuse and staying in my nice warm house. Nope, I went out and at night too to meet with complete strangers  on my own… and I did NOT have a panic attack – although I must admit I was feeling very on edge for the short train ride home after dark.

I’m even more proud of myself for not collapsing into a gibbering ball of nerves and leaving when I discovered the meeting which I had been informed started at 7 pm actually got underway between 6 and Half past and was in full progress when a lonely oversized lady walked in and interrupted proceedings …

All in all there were about 15 people at the meeting.  I was given a warm welcome and a cup of tea as soon as I walked in which always helps.  Actually I hardly ever drink tea but accepting the drink and sipping away at the warm sugary goodness helps to calm my nerves, even if I do get funny looks because I drink it with sugar and no milk… a combination which is apparently not the done thing.

I did make a tactical error in admitting that I have had some previous first aid training… not so much that this was a bad thing it’s just that once you say that you are then expected to remember some of it. Baring in mind that my certificate lapsed in April 2008 meaning that the award was made sometime in a around 2005, 4 whole years ago,  and that thankfully despite being the one of the office first aiders I was never called on to actually use my first aid knowledge at work because in the whole time I was with my company the only person who needed help on my shift was… me :S    Asking me to scratch around in the black caves at the back of my mind for this information, I wouldn’t be surprised if you could  can you hear the cogs inside my brain creaking?!  I was surprised that I even recalled the ABC of Airways Breathing Circulation fame…   even the specifics how and why  to put somebody in the recovery position…  but need me to perform any feats of bandaging magic or heaven forbid CPR and I’m afraid to say you will DIE before my brain realizes the information is searching for is missing.

We worked on the recovery position today. Start from what you know I say.

I’m so in awe of the work the volunteers do… everything from basic first aid provision for events (what actually made me join) through loaning out medical equipment (wheelchairs, commode back rests etc.),  trying to reconnect missing  family members all over the world, giving a confidence boost by teaching those with severe scaring or birth marks how to cover them with camouflaging (seriously the before and after pictures of this are out of this world !),   to emergency response  trying to offer help and comfort in times of disaster be it house fires or wide spread flooding. All this and of course fund raising too.

Needless to say I’ll be back for my second meeting next week at the correct time. I can’t wait to learn more!

Ali xX

K.S.: I got time alone with the T’V today AND dinner on the table when I came home .. Kayak Man is proud of me