American on purpose.

First of all, The Late Late Show is one of my favorite things that is regularly recorded on Gadget Guy’s TiVo. This guy makes me laugh till my sides hurt and I’m begging for mercy. He is the best bullshit artist I’ve ever seen, From Scotland like me AND he actually got US citizenship… uh huh… fell in love with the US in his teens LIKE ME… dude might be my new idol! I knooooooow I just had to get a hold of this book.

If your expecting a laugh a minute, a tale that’s an extension of the show that you’re used to, you better put this thing down and walk away now. This is a gritty, dirty, messy story of a Glasgow lad’s journey from rags to riches past the killer duck acid trip and through the selfish self inflicted misery of the hell that is alcoholisms. Put bluntly, Craig Ferguson is a talented jammie wee bastard. He’s gawd dam lucky and he knows it.

I found his style of writing as easy to read as his nightly monologues are to listen to, even if the subject matter was often more gruesome. You have to admit the guy’s grew balls in his old age. Not the macho bullshit kind, but the genuine dragged himself through rehab by his bootlaces, stayed sober despite the odds and achieved his own personal American dream through a combination of  luck, talent, hard work and Scottish charm. His capacity to fall deeply and hopelessly in love may have saved him several times, but the great love affair that permeates the pages is the one between him and his adopted country. American On Purpose. He most defiantly is a choice made out of a genuine allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and the republic for which it stands. This is something we most definitely share.  He is able to put into words the odd sense of lost I’ve felt ever since I left New Jersey in 1999: “Like many people who come to New York to live and leave before they really want to, I spent the next 3 or 4 years with the vague feeling that there was a party going on somewhere and I was not at it.”  I still feel this way but I could never explain it before. The book is towards the end a love letter to the land of the free written by a man who seems relieved he is finally fully accepted in a place he felt he belonged all along. His eyes are open to all the good things many Americans may take for granted as their birthright. His pursuing US citizenship is the ultimate form of flattery and you should feel as good about it as he does.

Craig himself says that his heart may be Scottish but his soul is American, which means “between safety and adventure: I chose adventure.”

That feels about right to me

Like him I am Scottish by birth and I dearly hope one day to become American… on purpose.

Ali xX

Book challenge!

Way back in this post I joined Kristin’s Book Challenge 2009 and set myself the target of reading 36 books in 2009 – 12 non fiction and 6 non fiction. I was about ready to write a big fat Fail post thinking I’d come nowhere close to this target and as you will see I did fail in the respect that I never did keep my “I’m Reading” page up to date. It’s had the same book posted all year, a book that I never did quite finish. The style of writing kind of bothered me and I think I only read about 80%, so given that I had no record of things, I spent this morning digging out all the books I HAD read this year because I knew there were some (KM and Benji were both looking rather confused at me running round the house pulling random things out of all the different nooks and crannies that books live in this place. The results where a pleassent surprise, I have to admit. Here’s my reading list for the year:

Non fiction (this, I have realized, is not actually all the non fiction stuff I’ve read, but I intended this category to be text books/self help books etc.)

Spiritual Midwifery – Ina May Gaskin

Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth – Ina May

Result: FAIL. Yep nowhere near the 6 books goal I had set myself. I have dipped in and out of several other books but these are the only two I read cover to cover. Most of the midwifery things I read come in journal form anyway, so I’m not upset with myself because I have been reading. One thing that does bother me though is that I didn’t get to any of the PCOS books I had planned to and I want to make more of an effort with that in 2010.

Fiction:

Narrow Dog to Indian River – Terry Darlington (80% finished. May attempt again in 2010 )

The light in the window – June Goulding

A midwife’s story – Penny Armstrong

Her Own Rules – Barbara Talyor Bradford

A Dog Year – Jon Katz

One Dog at a Time – Pen Farthing

Kitchen Confidential – Antony Bourdain

Embracing Eternity- Tony Stockwell

Call the Midwife – Jennifer Worth

Shadows of the Workhouse – Jennifer Worth

Farewell to the East End – Jenifer Worth

Confessions of a She -Fan – Jane Heller

Baby Catcher – Peggy Vincent

Result: SUCESS!! I read my twelve without even really trying.  Go Me! Also, I don’t read much actual fiction and it turns out I have a much wider range of topics than I first thought. I did not, however, read many travel adventures and that surprised me.

So, overall, I failed miserably to get to my Book Challenge goal of 36 books BUT I did at least achieve my Master Plan goal of reading a book a month. Seen as I failed to read my 36, I’m going to declare that number will remain as my goal for the Book challenge 2010. However, I don’t think I’m going to include text books this time as I seem to dip in and out more and not read them from cover to cover. I’m hoping I can get a head start in the first part of the year as, if I get into university (fingers crossed!), I’ll have A LOT of reading to do at that point and I have the feeling that reading for pleasure won’t feature much on the agenda. This year I will – I WILL – keep my I’m reading page updated.

Head on over to Kristin’s to check out the other participants in Book Challenge 2010.

And wish me luck lol.

Ali xX

Metformin and gummy bears.

I’ll be starting on Metformin as of Monday. I need to start with one 500mg dose in the morning with breakfast (which means I had better get a lot better at eating breakfast and quickly). I’ll be eating my oats like a good girl every morning just so I can take the pill despite the fact that I’ve really struggled with the whole food thing recently. After 7 days the dose doubles to 500mg twice a day morning and evening. The drug has been shown to help women with PCOS controlling the effects of insulin resistance.   It has been shown to help women suffering PCOS with losing weight and even returning to a regular cycle.  Here’s hoping I’ll see some good results from it.

As with all drugs there are side effects. Last time I took this I felt so sick the first couple of weeks. It was terrible, feeling ill.   The most common adverse effect of Metformin is gastrointestinal upset, including diarrhea, cramps, nausea, and vomiting. Apparently this affects more than 1 in 10 patients to some degree (that’s according to the leaflet accompanying the drug. The previous time I was taking Metformin things seemed to settle down for me after about 2 weeks. I really hope that’s the case again! The drug is also hard on your kidneys and liver.  The information I’ve read STRESSES the importance of drinking plenty of water while on Metformin (OH BOY this could be a SERIOUS problem for me) other recommendations are NO Alcohol and to try and stay away from over the counter drugs that may also be hard on your liver & kidneys.  It’s advised that people on the prescription should have blood work to monitor liver and kidney function and I am slightly concerned that this never came up in the 10 minutes I was with the doctor the other day. Seems kind of important to me.

So over all, I need to cut the booze (I’m not really a big drinker anyways) and work HARD on the water thing!!

Along these lines … I’m super pleased with myself today for taking a step towards being more organized with my medication at least. I found myself a little pill organizer (or as Kayak Man likes to call it my pill Filofax) with compartments for morning and afternoon medication and set up a full weeks pills in advance. I’m hoping this will not only help me to remember, but more importantly I’ll never have that stooopid moment of wondering if I took my meds yet today. Again.

Any good behavior points I may have awarded myself are totally and utterly wiped out by the fact that I ate half a packet of Haribo Star Mix though I can tell you I feel sooooooo guilty. These things are technically not MAOAM’s the annoying sugary sticky messy things I haven’t eaten since I gave them up in this post,  BUT  the problem is that I only started eating the MAOAM’s in the first place to STOP myself eating WAAAAY to much Haribo. Today I gave in and I didn’t even ENJOY it. I feel bad. From now on, I declare a blanket ban on all sugary / jelly /gummy sweets … and instead when I want a sugary treat I will go for the chocolate that I actually ADORE. Even then I’m making an effort to switch to mostly enjoying dark chocolate in smaller quantities.

I’ve decided to change around my reading goals a little origionally I had set myself the goal of reading one book for pleasure each month but while I was over at Kirstin’s blog I decided instead to join in with her Book challenge 2009.  The idea here is to set a goal for the entire year as opposed to month by month. I think I’ll be much more likely to stick to this and it’s more fun when other people are doing this too.  I’ve set my target at 36: that’s 12 fictions books (one for each month as per my original plan) but I’m also adding that I will aim to read one non-fiction book for every two months.  Now, granted, 36 books seems like a low target compared to the others in the group, but having dyslexia I make  redonkulously slow progress. Anyways,  look for my I’m reading page to be updated with the books I have read so far this year as well as links to the others taking part.

I have this really odd urge to make a roast chicken dinner (don’t ask me why – I dunno!)… So I’ll be doing that tomorrow or attempting to I should say… Wish me luck!

Ali xX

K.S. Getting hold of the T.V. remote for an hour so I could watch NCIS for the first time!

Do me a favor: Give the man a seat!

I have a confession:  when I got home last night I could not be bothered to cook and as it was late/dark /cold and I had panic issues, I went to the closest take away and got myself a veggie pizza. Very bad of me. Now I realize that I will have days when I break my own rules regarding diet, but boy am I paying for it today. I feel guilty and bloated.

I may feel weak about the diet slip up, but I am not weak. I pulled myself together and went out to Liverpool today, just like I told you I would. I was shopping for hours and the place was busy. I’d like to be able to tell you that the day passed without incident but well that wouldn’t exactly be telling the truth.  You see, I made a fatal error. I asked Jon to come shopping with me after the panic I got myself into. I thought I would cope better. I should of course have realized that taking a guy like Jon clothes shopping with me would only end in disaster. I have to add here that in fairness, it’s not his fault. He was really really patient with me for several hours, which only proves that he was trying really REALLY hard. I had a list of things I needed to get ready for my trip this weekend and I wasn’t having much luck finding anything that actually looked ok on me rather than just fitting me. :S With hindsight I should have gone on my own. Things came to head when a very uncomfortable man being pushed to his limits by a girl with a shopping addiction just wanted to sit down, was relieved to find that the fitting room had a couch at the entrance. He was just launching into a rant for the benefit of anyone who would listen along the lines of “aaahhh… finally… a seat. These things should be mandatory in all these stores” as I dived into the cubicle to try on my items. As I heard the assistant tell him “I’m sorry you can’t sit there … there are some chairs over by the shoes” even I’m going WHAT the… it made no sense to me. I mean I guess, yeah, the couch was technically just sitting on the carpet that marked the fitting room as different to the shop floor but jebus, let the guy sit down. There are cubicles here, there are locks and what’s more there is NOBODY else in the place. Do you realize the trouble you have just caused me, woman? I mean I can practically hear the steam coming out of his ears from here.   You’re lucky that he’s only going to blow up at me later and not give you a piece of his mind right here.

I came out of the changing room knowing there would be trouble of some kind, and sure enough I couldn’t see Jon anywhere.  Cue panic. I was already stressing over how long this trip had been taking. Now I can’t see him ANYWHERE and the longer I’m looking the more and more aware I am that I’m still wearing the shops clothes. He must have left. I’m edging over to the door desperately trying to convey to the security guard my best “I’m not about to make a run for it honest ” face because by now he has totally noticed me. Eventually, I spied his reflection in the window of the shop next door and somehow was able to attract his attention and all ended well – but for a few minutes there I really thought I was going to have to spent my budget paying for clothes I had just thrown up on…

Anyways, onto the good news… I found everything I needed for my trip and a few extras. What can I say… it happens especially when these extras are adorable. Gosh I would feel sexy in those thigh high boots. I was right – I DO feel great in them. So much so that I’m not even sorry I caved-in to the shoe thing again!!

I’ve picked my book for this month. I’ll be reading:

Narrow Dog to Indian River (by English narrow boat through an America nobody knows) Written by Terry Darlington  

The blurb on the back starts like this:

“Nobody has ever sailed an English narrow boat in the USA before … for reasons that become clear during the nine month voyage of the Phyllis May – Including 30 mile sea crossings ,blasting heat, tornados, hurricanes ,starving alligators, killer fish ,insects from hell and the walking dead.”

I got this far and I’m already chuckling at the idea of anyone sailing a brightly colored narrow boat anywhere in the US. That takes guts, in my book. What a cool idea. I wish I’d thought of it… hehe… but when I read that this adventure takes place in the Deep South and that one third of the crew is a whippet named Jim, I have high hopes that this book will have me laughing out loud. How could I not read it! Hoping I’m not disappointed.

On a more boring but practical note: I’ll also be reading Polycystic Ovary Syndrome the facts by Mohgah Elsheikh & Caroline Murphy this month as part of my effort to become more informed. I hear this rumor that knowledge is power, ya see.

The book is recommended by Verity the PCOS patient support group over here in the UK. I’m thinking about joining when I can – just a small matter of the £25 a year membership fee, which to me seems very reasonable. I want access to all the information I can and hopefully I could connect to some other women in my situation that way too     
I’m awarding myself a pat on the back today because I actually got off my backside and went swimming this evening for the first time in years – part of that whole “find exercise I can enjoy” idea. I chose swimming because one of the things on my list of issues is the fact that my left knee is screwed. It’s prone to swelling and can be painful after activity. In the water the exercise has less impact on your joints. It’s a bonus that I’m a total water baby – so I actually find swimming fun and relaxing.  Oddly I’m only self conscious about the way I look in a bathing suit when I’m not in the water. I had to grit my teeth and ignore this feeling tonight, but I did it.  I was only in the pool for 40 minutes of the hour session but it’s a start.  At the end of the day I might look awful but at least I’m trying to do something about it.  That’s what I keep telling myself anyway. I’m happy to report that my knee is fine tonight. While I was in the pool I was very aware of the difference in muscle strength / tone between my left and right leg – a difference I hadn’t really felt before. Hopefully this will improve too if I keep making a splash in the pool.

I’m going away to Scotland for the weekend tomorrow and I haven’t even finished packing yet ! but I’ll be taking  good old fashioned pen and paper with me so I can write each day and post when I get back. I’m not sure whether I’m more nervous about the trip or more excited. Keep you fingers crossed for me it goes well think positive!

See you on Monday

Ali xX 

K.S.: I say it again … LOVE my new boots!