Show and Tell

This week I’m showing my map of the USA one of only three things adorning the walls in my room (the other two are White Sox and Kane County Cougar pennants I picked up on my last trip). I always struggle to remember how different the scale is on a map of this ginormous country than a map of the UK, so when my head is looking at a distance between two places and saying “hmm about a twenty minute drive” in reality I’d be on the road for oh about 3 and a half hours. It’s hard for me to wrap my Scottish head around. I put the map up a couple of years ago now when I was learning more and more about the different states but I, in all honesty, had no clue how they fit together. I mean I used to think New Jersey was north of New York. Seriously. It’s so much worse when you think that I was living there at the time! I also thought New Mexico actually was a country all of its own (as you can tell, geography is my real forte hahaha). Maybe someone out there can explain to me: why Washington D.C. is nowhere near Washington state, why Michigan City is actually in Indiana, come to think of it… how come Michigan is split in such an awkward way with that upper peninsula thing when all the other states lines seem somewhat logical… and another thing… why oh why do you guys say “Kansas” but Arkansas becomes “ar-ken-saw”?  Drives me nuts, despite the fact that as a Brit I can’t really lecture people about writing things one way and saying them another without a really bad pot kettle black situation. (EDIT – Gadget Guy here… hello? There’s no “F” in “Lieutenant” as an example).

So far I’ve only been able to stick three “been there done that” pins in my map:

New York

Orlando

Chicago

I’d give you my wish list too, but really there isn’t anywhere that’s NOT on my wish list.

I can’t when exactly this was… perhaps when Craig Ferguson was trying to get Honorary Citizenship from as many places as possible OR when I was watching your election map turning red and blue all over the place, but for a while I used to have a recurrent dream when I started my own campaign to get a pen friend in every state so that I could pick and poke all thier American brains with my sometimes stoopid often irritating questions of how come… why… what about… the country is just so fascinating to me.

Ali xX

P.S. Don’t forget to check out what everyone else is sharing.

American on purpose.

First of all, The Late Late Show is one of my favorite things that is regularly recorded on Gadget Guy’s TiVo. This guy makes me laugh till my sides hurt and I’m begging for mercy. He is the best bullshit artist I’ve ever seen, From Scotland like me AND he actually got US citizenship… uh huh… fell in love with the US in his teens LIKE ME… dude might be my new idol! I knooooooow I just had to get a hold of this book.

If your expecting a laugh a minute, a tale that’s an extension of the show that you’re used to, you better put this thing down and walk away now. This is a gritty, dirty, messy story of a Glasgow lad’s journey from rags to riches past the killer duck acid trip and through the selfish self inflicted misery of the hell that is alcoholisms. Put bluntly, Craig Ferguson is a talented jammie wee bastard. He’s gawd dam lucky and he knows it.

I found his style of writing as easy to read as his nightly monologues are to listen to, even if the subject matter was often more gruesome. You have to admit the guy’s grew balls in his old age. Not the macho bullshit kind, but the genuine dragged himself through rehab by his bootlaces, stayed sober despite the odds and achieved his own personal American dream through a combination of  luck, talent, hard work and Scottish charm. His capacity to fall deeply and hopelessly in love may have saved him several times, but the great love affair that permeates the pages is the one between him and his adopted country. American On Purpose. He most defiantly is a choice made out of a genuine allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and the republic for which it stands. This is something we most definitely share.  He is able to put into words the odd sense of lost I’ve felt ever since I left New Jersey in 1999: “Like many people who come to New York to live and leave before they really want to, I spent the next 3 or 4 years with the vague feeling that there was a party going on somewhere and I was not at it.”  I still feel this way but I could never explain it before. The book is towards the end a love letter to the land of the free written by a man who seems relieved he is finally fully accepted in a place he felt he belonged all along. His eyes are open to all the good things many Americans may take for granted as their birthright. His pursuing US citizenship is the ultimate form of flattery and you should feel as good about it as he does.

Craig himself says that his heart may be Scottish but his soul is American, which means “between safety and adventure: I chose adventure.”

That feels about right to me

Like him I am Scottish by birth and I dearly hope one day to become American… on purpose.

Ali xX

Trick or …

Halloween is possibly my favorite holiday.. I love this time of year.  I used to celebrate this day as the start of the Pagan New Year,  but now I’m really not sure where I stand on the whole religion thing so I don’t celebrate that way anymore.  I always make a point to carve a pumpkin and over the last couple of years I’ve used the excuse to try and figure out how to make pumpkin pie: something which is harder than it sounds given that several things on the recipe are not available this side of the Atlantic. This year I wasn’t home so sadly neither of these rituals were observed.

I did something this year I’ve never done before: I went trick or treating! No no not for myself. I’m a little old to be begging for candy at people’s doors. I draw the line right around borrowing a cup of sugar. I went with my friend’s kids D who’s 5 and makes a very scary skeleton, N who is an oh so cute but deadly witch. She’s 3.  They had a blast.  I believe this tradition should be encouraged.

It’s safe to say that Halloween is kind of glossed over in the UK. Trick or treating is not all that common and while we make some attempts at spooky theme nights at local night clubs costumes and all that, we don’t go all out the way the Americans do, something which makes the gothic-side of my personality very very upset. I mean this is the one night I can legitimacy get away with dressing like a vampire and not have people questioning my sanity.  Sigh.

I keep threatening to go harass Gadget Guy for Halloween next year… mwahahahaha… Seriously though, I want to go play in the pumpkin patch  and have so many Trick or Treaters that you need a piece of paper and a pen ‘cause 10 fingers is just not enough to count them.

Happy Halloween … blessed be.

Ali xX

The 4th day of July.

4th of July. Independence Day … mmhumm … the day the USA commemorates independence from Britain. To the rest of the world: just Saturday

One year ago today I was watching the fireworks and Independence Day celebrations from Washington for the first time, thanks to a friend’s TiVo/Slingbox (hellooooo! Gadget Guy here… how about a little mention about which friend has the above mentioned gadgets? ) and the magic of the interwebs and I remember thinking wow these guys know how to party. In my experience, be it concerts, parades, even party conventions, the USA sure knows how to put on a show. Anyone who knows me knows that I am in love with the USA.  I don’t keep it a secret. Yeah I might joke about the funny words you guys use, the crazy portions sizes, and other such trivial things but when it comes down to the wire there is no place I’d rather be.  I’m truly in love with a country that is not my own.  I feel complete over there. I enjoy the culture, the people, and the weather. I’ve been lucky in that I’ve never been anything but welcomed with warm smiles and so many things of interest that I’m left spinning on the spot not knowing where to turn and look first. When people ask me why I want to move to the USA I honestly joke that I left a large piece of me behind there and it refuses to come home. I feel whole on the other side of the Atlantic. Unfortunately, immigration laws pay no attention to love and have no care for my spiritual well being. Not that I blame them. I mean I’m guessing there’s a whole stack of people – thousands of them – who genuinely would crave a visa in the way I do and well ya can’t just go letting everybody in, so for now until I can prove myself indispensable to the USA in some way (ahaha don’t hold your breath ). I’m here… in the UK living the life of an “American Wannabe”.

To say this puts me in an unusual situation amongst my friends would be an understatement. As far as I could tell, one year ago I was flying the “give the USA another chance” flag all on my lonesome, far from making my mates understand my desire to move there. I was seriously struggling to even convince them that a vacation in the land of the free might be a great idea.  The US of A was languishing way too low on the list of countries that deserved a visit and  anti US feeling was spreading like wildfire… thanks in no small part to the perception of  the former president.  I do not want to comment on policy or politics of a country that is not my own, but I can tell you that that man caused so much damage to the way America was viewed in the eyes of the rest of the world… even I was finding it all so depressing – trying to reconcile my appreciation for the country and the Americans I had come to know… with the actions of  their elected government… and it seemed from the outside as if the very ideals the country was founded on were under threat..

What a difference a year makes. The American population elected its first black president; a man who actually knows how to speak in public, a guy who has an abundance of charisma and charm, who seems to understand that there’s a line between sticking up for the best interests of the country he leads while at the same time showing the rest of the world the respect it deserves.

Even thought the economic situation may be worse and as a global population we have a lot of unresolved questions, these are trying times and yet here I am on this Fourth of July feeling like even I have something to celebrate. I no longer have to apologize to my friends and defend my love of America at every turn. The country is again leading the way for the rest of the world and earning its respect.

I love the Fourth of July – every bit of it: the fireworks, the pageantry, the patriotic songs, star spangled banners everywhere… even the insanity of the hot dog eating competition. I swear that one day I will make it over there somewhere to experience the festivity in person.  It is undeniably American and I think the patriotic holiday is such a thrill. It’s wonderful to see genuine love and pride for your country on such a public level. A fantastic celebration, but also a reminder of all those to have fought to establish this great nation and those who still fight today to uphold those same ideals.

“All men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

You have to stop and think how different the world would look today without that famous declaration. Even as a Brit I am grateful to say happy birthday to the USA and this year I can proudly say I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Happy Independence Day!

Ali xX

Show and Tell

Every time I visit the US, I’m always struck by this same thing: the amount of choice there is available over there. I mean just take my favorite candy covered chocolate: M&M’s. I thought we were doing pretty well here in the UK.  We have milk chocolate; we’ve got your peanut ones if you’re a little nutty like me and just recently we’ve added Crispy ones that are sooo not to my taste but it gives people another option. I was happy with that… until… I waltzed into a Walgreens and was blown away to the point where my brain was stalling. It seemed that there were M&M’s everywhere I looked.  Choices choices choices… Dark chocolate. Peanut dark chocolate. Mint. CHERRY flavor … whoa my M&M’s got a makeover… what are these M&M Premiums? Oooo… candy for grown ups (unfortunately with a bigger price tag too!)  The packet sizes are amazing and if that’s not enough, everything comes in so many colors… repackaged and rebranded for the up and coming holiday just in case I want to coordinate my candy to my outfit! CRAZYNESS ..

An illustration for this week’s show and tell class… Lets talk Easter…  this is the Easter candy isle at my local super market:

My Easter Choices

Easter eggs of all shapes and sizes to suit all budgets and age groups. I’d say this was a pretty good selection over here in the UK. We give chocolate eggs at Easter time. Kids usually receive a few from different family members or relatives (I must be a grown up officially because this year was my first year without lol – good for my diet). I think the selection matches up fairly well with Gadget Guy’s picture … other than that his eggs are made by Hershey’s and I like those better because lets face it the grass is ALWAYS greener  here’s his picture:

Gaget Guy's eggs..

So far so good… except that Gadget Guy’s local store also has all of THIS stuff on offer for the Easter bunny to choose from:

Cadbury's egg overload	There's more ?!
HUUGE Easter Baskets	Make Your Own Easter Baskets

There are toys… and games, chocolate, candy… the list goes on. What are these HUUUGE Easter baskets anyways? Oh oh apparently that’s what you guys do over there?  Not just one egg? Oh nooooo a whole Easter buffet wrapped up in a basket and tied with a bow. WOW. Your Easter bunny sure is generous. I’m thinking your kids are real lucky over there. It seems like if I’d grown up American I sure would have got a lot more candy what with Easter and the Halloween madness. But then on the other hand I wonder how much pressure all this commercialization puts on parents. On the one hand you want to give your kids the same treatment their peers may be receiving. You don’t want to let them down or have them singled out but on the other budget /economy etc.  I know I know you don’t HAVE to cave to the pressure and your children don’t really NEED all this stuff, but I think it must be though when your kids are bombarded with toys and candy and bright shiny objects and given these expectations by an advertising industry that – let’s face it – has little regard for your financial position and seems engaged in a permanent death match struggle between rivals for every single dollar that does leave your wallet.

Choices choices choices… I’m not sure I’ll ever stop being amazed by the variety in the “Land of Plenty”. I mean, seriously, look at those Cadbury’s orange eggs. Cadbury is a UK company and I’ve NEVER even seen those things. I keep telling Gadget Guy there must be something wrong with them if we’re sending them ALL to America  And this: a wall of Peeps. A WHOLE WALL. Nothing but Peeps… Peeps… Peeps…

PEEPS !

I’ve had dreams where they all fall on me and I’m drowning in brightly colored marshmallows…. A-MAZING.

Make sure you check out what the rest of the class is talking about.

Take me out to the ball game.

Gaget Guy's Awsome Opening Day 2009 Picture

“Well, beat the drum and hold the phone – the sun came out today!
We’re born again, there’s new grass on the field.
A-roundin’ third, and headed for home, it’s a brown-eyed handsome man;
Anyone can understand the way I feel.”

~ John Fogery (Centerfield)

OPENING DAY IS HERE… YEAH BABY ! Aherm…well, to be truthful, Opening Day was Sunday. What today actually was is the Chicago White Sox home opener. Ah ha I can see you looking confused as to why this matters after my previous LETS GO YANKEES outburst. Mmhum if it really bothers you, I’ll be sure to write a post about my baseball loyalties in the future.  For now let’s just say it matters to me. Deal? Anyways I have to wait until April 16th for the home opener in the Bronx as Derek Jeter and his boys start out with one looong ass road trip (which did not get off to the best of starts with a loss to the Orioles yesterday ). I’m sure you’ll hear from me again about that day, the new stadium etc. but for now come on back to Chicago ok?

First of all this post should have been written yesterday.  The game should have been yesterday but as ever the only predictable thing about Chicago weather is that it will be totally unpredictable so snow and freezing temps threw a spanner in the works yesterday and the game was shifted. At least the game was cancelled ahead of time. It’s not like fans sat at the park for hours before being sent home disappointed. Well not this time anyways. SNOW!? …this is NOT baseball weather.  It’s supposed to be spring ya know!

Of course I was not actually THERE.  No dear friends – I did not secretly fly across the pond without telling anyone for a baseball game.  Now granted I totally would make that trip JUST for a ball game. But you can bet you bottom dollar I would not go quietly. Everybody would know about it in a flurry of countdowns, disorganized packing and happy dance. Instead I caught the game courtesy of MLB.TV and from what I saw of the shivering bundled up crowd members I may… MAY have been better off sat warm at home in a comfy chair. MLB.TV is a new thing for me this year. I’m already beyond thrilled that I should be able to follow more games this season than I have in many many years, but that’s not what I want to tell you about.

Even thought the game was quite thrilling and Jim Thome’s home run in the 8th to give the good guys the lead was the second time I’ve almost choked from excitement this week (the first being a home run off the bat of Mr. Jeter himself). That’s not what I want to talk about either, however I have to note that I really should stop eating and drinking while watching these games in case next time the popcorn actually does get stuck at the back of my throat or the juice succeeds in its attempts to come out my nose… either that or I have to learn to remain calm and collected and swallow before squealing with excitement and/or punching the air with my fists, bouncing up and down over excited on the edge of my seat. Mmhumm and the chances of that are oh about equal to pigs flying, hell freezing over, winning the lottery…you get the picture.

Hmmm… what was it I DID want to talk about? Oh yes… Opening Day.  I’ve never actually been to an opening day game.  Never been on the right side of the water at the right time so far, but I have seen the ceremony that comes along with thanks mainly. It has to be said, to Gadget Guy’s video and photography and every time it gives me shivers down my spine. Today was no exception. It’s something I can’t explain. There seems to be something extra that you can’t quite put your finger on – something in the air as people say. Of course if you’re in Chicago that air is probably more likely to be a 35 mph wind trying to blow your face off and let’s face it only Die Hard fans would go to the park in that. I absolutely love the red white and blue bunting that the stadium is decked out in the park, itself dressing up for the occasion ..

I’ve never been able to explain why the American National Anthem affects me the way it does. It moves me every time.  The hairs stand up on the back of my neck. Actually it’s a source of a considerable amount of irritation to me. I feel so unpatriotic reacting this way to an anthem that is not my own. When the dirge that is God Save The Queen has no effect on me at best and causes severe eye rolling at worst and yet here I am biting my lip HARD so as not to cry for the land of the free and the home of the brave. I’m just about holding it together. I’m getting through it without a ridiculous show of emotion but when you add in the unmistakable sound of 2 US Navy Reserve VFC-12 Fighting Omar’s (that’s kick ass jets to the rest of us) ripping the sky open with a fly over AND top it all off with the unraveling of the biggest star spangled banner right over the playing field… the roar of the crowd… I am going down… I’m gonna cry you bastards. Damn it!

All this for a sporting event. Really? It’s over the top, its silly, it looks expensive… says my British mind.  It’s also undeniably packed with national pride, a patriotism that’s rare this side of the Atlantic. Yes it’s pageantry, it’s excitement, it’s atmosphere… are all totally utterly of the “Only in America” variety and I love it! I experience it with the wide eyed wonder of childhood excitement, intoxicated and inspired by all that is good in America.

I truly believe nothing terrible could happen to me inside the walls of a ball park aside form an embarrassing defeat of course, but more than anything it was here, watching this game that I feel in love with a country….and that is an amazing thing to experience.

Just give me tickets, a hot dog and a margarita… and if I do choke to death because of a winning home run at least I’ll die happy.

Ali xX

“People ask me what I do in winter when there’s no baseball.  I’ll tell you what I do.  I stare out the window and wait for spring. “

~Rogers Hornsby

Back to the grind…

Yes, yes, I know. Technically, I actually came back from my weekend yesterday, but it was late and really I couldn’t wrap my head around writing a post because my brain numb from the boredom of sitting on a train for hours. Excuse me for pulling a sickie and not reporting in yesterday like I said I would.

My weekend was great! I had a wonderful time. I didn’t panic (not even in the noisy excitement and crowd at my first EVER football game) and if I told you everything that I got up to, well I’d be here for ages and would certainly get myself and possibly others in trouble. So let’s not do that. We’ll concentrate on the important stuff ok?

First, my diet went to hell.  It was a sinful couple of days. Of all the things I’m not meant to eat, washed down with far too much drink, be it alcoholic or of the fizzy sugar variety and it was gooood. Now that it’s over, I’m getting right back on track. Promise.  In my defense, it’s hard to stick to the diet I prescribed myself while visiting a friend. Really didn’t want to be rude with the “I can’t eat this. I gave up that, etc.” I decided instead that as I was taking a short holiday, the diet could, too.

That aside, I have to declare my love for baseball here. Actually, it surprised me. I haven’t told you about it already. Baseball is MY sport. I love it.  Could watch it for hours and hours, EVEN pass up chocolate or, heaven forbid, shopping – just to watch a game. I was ecstatic that my mate introduced me to ESPN America. It was a baptism of fire. We spent most of the weekend watching games from the World Baseball Classic till all hours of the night… or should that be morning! Even better, I can get this channel at home, thanks to Virgin who helpfully came ‘round to install new internet and digital TV service while I was away. THIS MEANS… I CAN WATCH BASEBALL FROM MY COUCH. My quality of life just went up a grade or two, I tell ya! At this point, I gotta have a serious word with my team … hay Yankees! What’s with getting beat TWICE this weekend by the ATLANTA BRAVES?!? You do know that’s my friend’s team, right? Do you have any Idea the S**T I took from him? Now, its only spring training and I love you guys, so I forgive of course but there better be some revenge in June. Pleeeeeeeease.

I realized this weekend just how much I miss Scotland. It’s odd I haven’t lived up there in years and most of the time I don’t really think about it, but every time I cross that border (and the sky goes black and it starts raining hehe) I feel a little better. My country is truly stunning.  I so much prefer the stone architecture to Merseyside’s red brick. Edinburgh is fascinating to me. I always think of it as my parents city, seen as its where they met , where my dad went to Uni and probably the place he was happiest in his life (waaay before my time, but I maintain his decent into unhappiness had nothing to do with me showing up. It wasn’t me, or if it was, it was unintentional. Honest!) There’s room to breathe in Scotland. There are towns and cities actually SEPARATED by wide open SPACE, unlike the continuous sprawl of suburbs I currently live in – where one town and city seems to melt endlessly into each other and it becomes hard to tell where one ends and the next begins. Merseyside is enough to make me claustrophobic. I need elbow room. I was much more upset to be crossing the border coming back than I realized I would be. I guess if the USA is number one on the places that make me happy, Scotland is running a close second. it does have the advantage though in that I don’t need a long haul flight and a visa to get in there. Scotland is a realistic relocation possibility, whereas America for now is an impossible dream. Perhaps I need to move the goal posts??

Despite the bright sunshine and blue skies, I felt downcast this morning. not sure if it was some kind of pining for Scotland or that my break away wasn’t long enough. probably just the fact that I have a cold that’s causing me to make numerous involuntary attempts  to cough up my lungs right into the palm of my hands just so my body can show you just how gunked-up they are. either way, I didn’t feel like writing tonight but I knew that if I didn’t, I’d be taking a giant step down that road towards “give up.” I did not do that. I came, I wrote… but I’m going to finish this one up quickly…

Got a lot of time to read the Narrow Dog on the train… enjoying it very much so far.
 
Despite my *blech* mood, I did go out today and enjoy the fresh air and the sunshine. .in fact, I went to the garden center to help Jon with a project of his own to turn our dismal concrete postage stamp of a back yard into a place where he can actually grow something.  I put up a bird feeder as my little contribution – wishful thinking. I hear you say well yeah… but still.

Been doing a lot of thinking and reading recently about PCOS. Its been absolutely great to make connections with other women experiencing this. I no longer feel alone and THAT makes such a difference. I can feel a post on this subject coming on hehe

Here we go – back to the grind as they say… business as usual tomorrow

Ali xX

K.S. Blue skies and SUN … in MARCH