Plan on hold for a penny

"See a penny, pick it up and all day long you'll have good luck"

"See a penny, pick it up and all day long you'll have good luck"

I’m not really one for superstitions, but for some reason this lucky penny thing has been with me since I was small. Finding them makes me smile. It’s a little lift similar to that I feel when the bus is waiting for me as I get to the stop or I discover a favorite episode of some show while channel flicking.  It’s nothing particularly special, just a little feeling that things are going your way.  I have been known drop the occasional penny in the hopes that someone who needs a little luck might find it. I don’t always pick them up either thinking that sometimes I’m ok and someone else can have the charm, but today as I was coming out of a crowded building on the first day of my quest to quit quitting I saw this one shining on the floor and had to have it.

I’m sharing my luck with you – isn’t it pretty 😛

I’m too aware that for all my Gung Ho attitude yesterday, I need to actually formulate a plan of action in order to keep this thing alive.  It’s all too easy to slide into the foggy black haze of depression routinely doing nothing. I got up today fully intending to sit down and write it so that I could show you this marvelous thing and receive my gold star for effort. Honestly I was going to, but instead I went out and not because I had to either.

I know to those of you out there with normal lives this is no big deal, but my life has not been normal.  I’ve been lucky if I leave the house once every three weeks, and usually then it’s for some appointment.  I don’t like outside.  It’s scary, it’s loud, it’s crowded… and it can lead to confusion disorientation and worst of all: PANIC. Shaking. Chest crushing. Can’t breathe. The world is going to end panic attacks.

Today: screw panic. I went out ALL DAY.  I’m so glad I did for all these reasons:

1. I have my lucky penny

2. I would have missed out of giggling my ass off at some old fella driving the unmistakable yellow of a NY cab around the streets of Liverpool

3. I wouldn’t have tried a burrito bowl for the very first time and so I wouldn’t know that I want to eat so many more!

4. The sun was shining

5. It gave me something to write about

But most of all, and this is the best bit…

6. I felt normal

7. I DID NOT PANIC! 🙂

And so the master plan has to wait till tomorrow …and I feel great.

Ali xX

One thought on “Plan on hold for a penny

  1. That is great! You Know, I don’t think I’ve ever had a burrito bowl..are they like the taco salads one can get in the edible tortilla bowl?

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