I’m not really one for superstitions, but for some reason this lucky penny thing has been with me since I was small. Finding them makes me smile. It’s a little lift similar to that I feel when the bus is waiting for me as I get to the stop or I discover a favorite episode of some show while channel flicking. It’s nothing particularly special, just a little feeling that things are going your way. I have been known drop the occasional penny in the hopes that someone who needs a little luck might find it. I don’t always pick them up either thinking that sometimes I’m ok and someone else can have the charm, but today as I was coming out of a crowded building on the first day of my quest to quit quitting I saw this one shining on the floor and had to have it.
I’m sharing my luck with you – isn’t it pretty 😛
I’m too aware that for all my Gung Ho attitude yesterday, I need to actually formulate a plan of action in order to keep this thing alive. It’s all too easy to slide into the foggy black haze of depression routinely doing nothing. I got up today fully intending to sit down and write it so that I could show you this marvelous thing and receive my gold star for effort. Honestly I was going to, but instead I went out and not because I had to either.
I know to those of you out there with normal lives this is no big deal, but my life has not been normal. I’ve been lucky if I leave the house once every three weeks, and usually then it’s for some appointment. I don’t like outside. It’s scary, it’s loud, it’s crowded… and it can lead to confusion disorientation and worst of all: PANIC. Shaking. Chest crushing. Can’t breathe. The world is going to end panic attacks.
Today: screw panic. I went out ALL DAY. I’m so glad I did for all these reasons:
1. I have my lucky penny
2. I would have missed out of giggling my ass off at some old fella driving the unmistakable yellow of a NY cab around the streets of Liverpool
3. I wouldn’t have tried a burrito bowl for the very first time and so I wouldn’t know that I want to eat so many more!
4. The sun was shining
5. It gave me something to write about
But most of all, and this is the best bit…
6. I felt normal
7. I DID NOT PANIC! 🙂
And so the master plan has to wait till tomorrow …and I feel great.