I have a confession: when I got home last night I could not be bothered to cook and as it was late/dark /cold and I had panic issues, I went to the closest take away and got myself a veggie pizza. Very bad of me. Now I realize that I will have days when I break my own rules regarding diet, but boy am I paying for it today. I feel guilty and bloated.
I may feel weak about the diet slip up, but I am not weak. I pulled myself together and went out to Liverpool today, just like I told you I would. I was shopping for hours and the place was busy. I’d like to be able to tell you that the day passed without incident but well that wouldn’t exactly be telling the truth. You see, I made a fatal error. I asked Jon to come shopping with me after the panic I got myself into. I thought I would cope better. I should of course have realized that taking a guy like Jon clothes shopping with me would only end in disaster. I have to add here that in fairness, it’s not his fault. He was really really patient with me for several hours, which only proves that he was trying really REALLY hard. I had a list of things I needed to get ready for my trip this weekend and I wasn’t having much luck finding anything that actually looked ok on me rather than just fitting me. :S With hindsight I should have gone on my own. Things came to head when a very uncomfortable man being pushed to his limits by a girl with a shopping addiction just wanted to sit down, was relieved to find that the fitting room had a couch at the entrance. He was just launching into a rant for the benefit of anyone who would listen along the lines of “aaahhh… finally… a seat. These things should be mandatory in all these stores” as I dived into the cubicle to try on my items. As I heard the assistant tell him “I’m sorry you can’t sit there … there are some chairs over by the shoes” even I’m going WHAT the… it made no sense to me. I mean I guess, yeah, the couch was technically just sitting on the carpet that marked the fitting room as different to the shop floor but jebus, let the guy sit down. There are cubicles here, there are locks and what’s more there is NOBODY else in the place. Do you realize the trouble you have just caused me, woman? I mean I can practically hear the steam coming out of his ears from here. You’re lucky that he’s only going to blow up at me later and not give you a piece of his mind right here.
I came out of the changing room knowing there would be trouble of some kind, and sure enough I couldn’t see Jon anywhere. Cue panic. I was already stressing over how long this trip had been taking. Now I can’t see him ANYWHERE and the longer I’m looking the more and more aware I am that I’m still wearing the shops clothes. He must have left. I’m edging over to the door desperately trying to convey to the security guard my best “I’m not about to make a run for it honest ” face because by now he has totally noticed me. Eventually, I spied his reflection in the window of the shop next door and somehow was able to attract his attention and all ended well – but for a few minutes there I really thought I was going to have to spent my budget paying for clothes I had just thrown up on…
Anyways, onto the good news… I found everything I needed for my trip and a few extras. What can I say… it happens especially when these extras are adorable. Gosh I would feel sexy in those thigh high boots. I was right – I DO feel great in them. So much so that I’m not even sorry I caved-in to the shoe thing again!!
I’ve picked my book for this month. I’ll be reading:
Narrow Dog to Indian River (by English narrow boat through an America nobody knows) Written by Terry Darlington
The blurb on the back starts like this:
“Nobody has ever sailed an English narrow boat in the USA before … for reasons that become clear during the nine month voyage of the Phyllis May – Including 30 mile sea crossings ,blasting heat, tornados, hurricanes ,starving alligators, killer fish ,insects from hell and the walking dead.”
I got this far and I’m already chuckling at the idea of anyone sailing a brightly colored narrow boat anywhere in the US. That takes guts, in my book. What a cool idea. I wish I’d thought of it… hehe… but when I read that this adventure takes place in the Deep South and that one third of the crew is a whippet named Jim, I have high hopes that this book will have me laughing out loud. How could I not read it! Hoping I’m not disappointed.
On a more boring but practical note: I’ll also be reading Polycystic Ovary Syndrome the facts by Mohgah Elsheikh & Caroline Murphy this month as part of my effort to become more informed. I hear this rumor that knowledge is power, ya see.
The book is recommended by Verity the PCOS patient support group over here in the UK. I’m thinking about joining when I can – just a small matter of the £25 a year membership fee, which to me seems very reasonable. I want access to all the information I can and hopefully I could connect to some other women in my situation that way too 🙂
I’m awarding myself a pat on the back today because I actually got off my backside and went swimming this evening for the first time in years – part of that whole “find exercise I can enjoy” idea. I chose swimming because one of the things on my list of issues is the fact that my left knee is screwed. It’s prone to swelling and can be painful after activity. In the water the exercise has less impact on your joints. It’s a bonus that I’m a total water baby – so I actually find swimming fun and relaxing. Oddly I’m only self conscious about the way I look in a bathing suit when I’m not in the water. I had to grit my teeth and ignore this feeling tonight, but I did it. I was only in the pool for 40 minutes of the hour session but it’s a start. At the end of the day I might look awful but at least I’m trying to do something about it. That’s what I keep telling myself anyway. I’m happy to report that my knee is fine tonight. While I was in the pool I was very aware of the difference in muscle strength / tone between my left and right leg – a difference I hadn’t really felt before. Hopefully this will improve too if I keep making a splash in the pool.
I’m going away to Scotland for the weekend tomorrow and I haven’t even finished packing yet ! but I’ll be taking good old fashioned pen and paper with me so I can write each day and post when I get back. I’m not sure whether I’m more nervous about the trip or more excited. Keep you fingers crossed for me it goes well think positive!
See you on Monday
K.S.: I say it again … LOVE my new boots!