Mothers Day

Today is Mothering Sunday or Mothers’ Day here in the UK so, of course, I’ve been thinking about my mum today. My mum and I are not close.  In fact, truth be told, we don’t have much in common except that we both lived with my dad and we are BOTH amazingly STUBORN.  Yeah, really… try and tell either of us we HAVE to do something – just try – you’ll see what I mean. of course I love my mum and if she needed me I’d be there in a flash,  but I haven’t thought of her house as home really since I was a teenager and seen as our main means of communication recently happens to be one line E-mails. She’s not my confidant. Sometimes I think she doesn’t really know me except of course how to push my buttons (“you’re just like your father” (I AM SOOOOOO NOT!!) “Drama Queen” … and other such things).  We can spend about three days together –  tops – before things descend into ugliness  and we’re pulling our hair out ( faults on both sides here I can assure you). I’m no angel. I get drawn into conflict way too quickly, reacting with my heart, yelling with my mouth before I engage my brain… D’OH so let’s leave my mother for now…

As I was thinking about her today, I started thinking of other women I’ve known in my life; ladies who have become close to me, perhaps looked out for me, perhaps just people I admire from afar but all of them have shaped or affected me in some way and thought me, about the type of woman I want to be. So on this day for mothers, I’m throwing the doors open. These few ladies all deserve a mention!

1) My actual mum ~ yeah despite what I said about her there are plenty of things I admire about my mum; like how she gave up her career when I was born 6 weeks premature and sick for the first 5 years of my life, hospital appointment after appointment, and at least 3 surgeries (that I know of ) in there.   How, during this time, she followed my father and moved to a completely different country (still, by the way, having to travel back to the UK with me alone so that i could have treatment). My parents uprooted on average every 2 and half years! So far my mother has moved house 36 times in her life!  I admire the strength she showed when she left my father even though it left her alone in a foreign country… I’m not thinking the 10 years it took for the divorce to be legal was fun either!

2) My adopted mum ~ actually she’s my best friends mum, but her parents have called me “adopted one” since I was 13 so… yeah my adopted mommy. She too has coped with illness in her life and recently retrained and went back to work. This, and the fact that my best mate turned out so great, already made her totally frikking awesome! On top of that she really treats me no different than her own daughter.  I know she’s always there for me even if I’m awful at keeping in touch (sorry mum!). She has this wonderful gentleness about her – forever warm and encouraging and in all the years I’ve known her I don’t think I’ve ever seen her lose her temper (seriously – WOW). Don’t be fooled – she’s no push over and she’s always frank and honest with her opinion without making anyone feel small. Totally LOVE her!

3) Mrs. Gadget Guy ~ talk about strong woman.  Yeah I know we don’t talk that often but she’s made of though stuff.  I realized that even before we met. I could tell when I read Gadget Guy’s post about her double mastectomy. I can’t even imagine having to go through that.  I am certain I would NOT deal with it so well. to be honest, her story moved me. I read it when I was still in a mess A YEAR after my life changing event.  She’s a survivor who inspires me to cope better and find some strength of my own.  When we did meet, I’ve got to tell you, I was only left more impressed. She’s funny as hell, too, and even though Gadget Guy spent a full week – no 10 days – showing  some random chick from the UK around their city (a chick  he met online) not only did she NOT freak out at the weirdness (heck, I was freaking out), she opened her arms and welcomed me. She gives great hugs btw. Carol definitely earns her Honorary Mum badge

4) Kayak Man’s mum ~ OK this is an odd one but bear with me, OK? I was invited to go over to Kayak Man’s parents for lunch today. I didn’t go and got some rare time home alone!  On the way back apparently there was some discussion about why I had refused. You know, like maybe I don’t like his parents. Maybe I’m scared of his mum (apparently Kayak Man’s DAD is scared too lol). Neither of these is the reason I stayed home.  I like Kayak Man’s parents just fine. I’m not scared of his mother (ok maybe a little :P) I think “intimidated” is more the word. I admire her. She worked her ass off as a nurse doing crazy shifts. She’s spent time as a single mother and she’s raised three kids.   Here is a woman who successfully juggled career and kids  with amazing success .and even now she’s always busy doing something, learning something, teaching other nurses, caring for her grandson. She’s like super woman. I don’t understand how she has enough hours in the day! It freaks me the heck out that if she judges me by her ridiculously high standards, all I will ever do is fail to impress.

Now if only I could look to these ladies  lives,  keep them in my sights as role models and learn even a little from each…  I would be a much better , stronger, more successful woman.

Happy Mothers Day to you all … You SOO RAWK!

Love Ali xX

K.S. time home alone… quiet peaceful time… without Star Trek on TV = BLISS !

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