I hate doctor’s appointments. Really really HATE. I’m not too sure who is to blame for this; either the NHS and their stooopid 10 minute appointment time or the individual doctor, but either way I came away from our brief encounter today feeling down right depressed and pretty worthless. I didn’t actually get any of my questions answered. I still don’t have any explanation for the things I don’t understand that are going on with my own body. All you seemed interested in was whether I was about to collapse and die today. If the answer is no then I should just STFU and move along. At least that’s how it felt! You failed to even look up from typing away on your laptop ONCE during the whole ordeal. So I’m there trying to have a conversation about some quite personal issues and I feel like I’m interrupting. THAT’S NOT RIGHT. OK, so, granted what you were actually doing was making notes, but, hay doc, for all your intelligence I’ve got to tell you EYE contact works wonders. I’m human just like you, ya know! FFS I’m the one who’s actually dealing with this on a day to day basis. When you ask me what the issue is, I expect you to acknowledge my response at LEAST. Maybe even let me finish my sentence before you cut me off with some dismissive remark. I know you may see people in much worse states than me so to you this seems like nothing but it’s a big damn deal to me. Right now my health is making my life hard everyday. I want to fix it, but I need advice and help support from someone who supposedly knows about these things – someone like you. It takes a lot to even get me in your office, so if I sat in front of you, give me some respect. Please! Now I feel totally worthless another number. a statistic. A piece of meat. An item of curiosity. I’m so MAD. I don’t feel like going back. Was that your aim!? Because I tell you 3 months ago that’s what I would have done crawled back into the hole I came out of and not seen a doctor again for a good long while, but I’m different now. I’ve got my fighting gloves on and I will not give up. I’m going to get control of this thing with or without your help but I sure could use you on my side.
Despite being told to wait till yesterday for my appointment so the new surgery would have my notes, I got there to find that you had no such information which makes both of our lives miserable. So when I asked about counseling, I got a shrug. I asked about medication for PCOS and I got a prescription. Oh and then I got showed out the door because obviously I was only there because I wanted pills. For God sake what will it take for somebody to actually sit down and explain things to me in a way I can understand? What do I have to do just to feel like someone is honestly listening when I talk and not thinking about the previous patient or what they are going to have for lunch? I need somebody to look at the whole picture here, not just how I feel in the 10 minutes I’m in your office. IS ANYBODY LISTENING?? DOES ANYONE ACTUALLY WANT TO HELP!??
And another thing… if as it appears you have no clue what PCOS actually is or what the best advice for me might be, could you at least make some attempt to either find out or put me in touch with somebody who does know? is that too much to ask? Don’t fob me off. If you don’t know – SAY SO. I won’t think any less of you. Honest. Until 2 years ago I had no clue either!
Oh and thanks so much for the last minute referral to the diet & lifestyle clinic. an appointment time given to me on a scrap of screwed up paper that looks like its a rude note that’s been passed round a class room a few times before it got to me. Thanks. That made me feel just great. Yes I KNOW I’m overweight. Yes I know it’s not good for me… believe it or not I want to do something about it to. UH HUH I care. I’ve tried so many diets before I can’t even list them all. Does the person running this clinic actually know what PCOS is? Will they be able to help me control it with diet… or will they just be another person who see’s my failing attempts to lose weight, assumes I’m lazy and looks down on me?. Because, seriously, I’m not sure how many more condescending clueless people I have room for in my life right now.
Your very frustrated and desperate patient