Keeping abrest of the situation

My volunteering application is in the post making its way to the local NHS Trust which would be Wirral University Teaching Hospital also known as  Arrow Park. Fingers crossed I hear something soon. It felt kind of strange asking close friends for references. Makes you feel grown up when you can ask people your own age for a reference and that’s ok. Anyways the friends I used have known me for longer than the required two years and are fully qualified to answer questions on all things Ali. I’m sure they will put a positive spin on things.  Going back to the Red Cross for meeting number 2 tomorrow. I’m still really looking forward to it and that’s a great thing.

I have located the Access to Higher Education course I was after at two local colleges with the help of my job broker who called today… TWICE (already a better track record than his predecessor woohoo).  I have managed to rank them according to preference. My first choice is going to be Liverpool Community College because even though its further away it offers said course as an evening class with home study and I think down the line this will be easier to fit around any job that might come my way (here’s hoping). I was feeling all gung ho and promptly called them for an application form only to find out that the college is closed for the Easter break (Duh yeah colleges and schools do that – has it been that long since I left? I hadn’t even thought – yikes).  I was informed the best way to apply is via the online application form which should be done ASAP. Even after the thing is submitted it takes up to four weeks to hear anything. Hmmm got to love that red tape. With the holiday on top, it’s going to be about 6 weeks or so.  That being said, I didn’t rush off and complete the form today. I’ll take my time and finish over the next couple of days no big rush seen as nobody’s around to look at it.

Boys – you may want to choose now to make a timely exit because this next bit is all about my breasts and not in a fun way. One of my favorite sayings for expressing irritation with a person or object would be to exclaim in a very exasperated way that said item really gets on my tits! (somehow my head reasons that getting on my tits is really bad  1) because I HATE my breasts and drawing attention to them makes my skin crawl before you even touch me and 2) because my tits are small and so can’t take much of your crap!). Lately my tits are really getting on my tits. Its a hormone thing I think ever since my cycle decided to show up again I have awful problems with tingles in my breasts my nipples get hard and actually a little painful sometimes for whole days. Seriously, this blows. I’ve never thought of my bra as a torture device UNTIL NOW. It’s impossible to concentrate when certain body parts have a mind of their own and are hell bent on drawing my attention and keeping it all to themselves. I’ve dubbed this my “TT issue”. So far it’s kept me awake at night and stopped me from holding polite conversation. It’s hard to focus on this when the monologue in my head is says “damn these clothes are impossible. I  HATE my breasts. Sugar has this person noticed that I’m fidgeting because my tits are sooo damn irritating… crap I’m gonna have to readjust… I can’t take it… what is this person talking about… BREASTS tingling… irritating… hot… oh so warm… please help meee… my breasts are going CRAZY!!!”  I’ve been practically ripping garments off before in the private. Of course it’s insane. The only thing that seems to offer some sort of comfort is cold – anything cold. Yup, I’ve run to the bathroom in search of relief from the cold water… I wonder if my friends have ever asked themselves why I hold that newly purchased ice cold coke can so close to my chest.  I hope they haven’t. I have entire fantasies about cold hands…but that’s another story.

While this – let’s face it – slightly comical problem is irritating, it only usually lasts a day or two. In the grand scheme of things it’s not a HUGE problem. So I act like a total mad woman a few days a month. There are a lot of women who can say that. Recently however it’s getting worse. Actually just my left breast is much worse. My right boob is apparently the good twin, but the left… the left is evil. It’s gone way beyond insane tingling. It HURTS and tingles all at the same time. The pain seems deeper in my breast tissue at times. It feels like it extends all the way right into my armpit. What’s more, the TT issue that usually hangs around for 2 days max has been with me all this week. I’m starting to worry… and its driving me demented!

Ali xX

K.S.: I was out in the wonderful sunshine again and this time it was WARM.

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