Easter quest a sucess ?

Happy Easter everyone!  I do hope the Easter Bunny was good to you.  I myself spent the day chilling at home eating way to many pastel colored Easter M&M’s. It still amazes and delights me that you can get these little things in every color you can think of annnd dark chocolate too… yummmy!

Of course this also means the Lenten fast is over. I think I’m going to award myself a success in the quest to quit quitting. I was thinking about this today. Not much has really changed on the face of things. I’m still an unemployed person at home all day doing not too much BUT I do think a I have succeeded in my attempts to be more positive.  For one thing, I’ve written a post almost everyday rather than being all gung ho for the first few weeks then giving up and you never hear from me again.  If I look back at the plan I wrote I can see real areas of change relating to back to it.

I have now registered with the correct doctor and restarted treatment for my PCOS. I’m not perusing the healthy living clinic too, despite my reservations and even though I don’t have a perfect track record with taking my medication (still having issues with eating meals and no meals means no meds). I have only missed two doses which is much much much better than my previous record. I’m much more organized with my pills too, dosing out the medication for the week ahead of time and therefore being aware of when I’m about to run out before I actually do is a novel idea to me.

I’m also going to tell you that as of this time I’m not taking any anti depressant medication at all. I’m not sure how this will work out yet.  On the one hand I’m pleased not to be taking it, but I’m aware that I still do have mood dips and days where the dark oppressive cloud that is depression still likes to hang around and try to make me a useless mess. Coming off the anti depressants hasn’t hit me as hard as I thought it would I’m thrilled to report. Right now I don’t feel the need to take them but I still need to keep a very close eye on my mood.  I’m only taking my very first steps without. Evening primrose oil has been a Godsend.  I really believe that while my mood swings are still definitely around. They are not hitting with the same severity of past days and since I started this one capsule a day regime my period pains have all but gone.  I can’t recommend giving this a try enough!

On the job front: progress has been made, too.  No employment as of yet sadly, but I’m not working with my job broker. I actually have put together a decent CV. Aannd I have a few applications in the pipelines. I’ve booked myself on a confidence building course which should help me too.

I have a long term goal: I really want to go back to college now.  Honestly I have a five year plan of where I’m trying to head towards. This feels GREAT for me. I’m passed the time of not being able to see my own future and not giving a shit. Even though I haven’t been able to get the application in yet (uh huh the institution’s web page has been down all weekend.  That’s technology for you.) I will be doing this as soon as I can and I even have a back up plan B.  You could almost mistake me for an organized person 😛 … naw not quite.

I’ve started volunteer work and hope to have more set up soon.

These are all the reasons I say success at giving up giving up but lent is over so I wouldn’t have to feel guilty for going back to my old ways now and that’s just what I’m going to do.

WRONG! No way. I like this me a lot better.  I feel a bit better about myself and even though I still have bad days, they are getting less in number and that’s oh so great!  And and and… I haven’t had an actual panic attack in weeks  YAAY !

Here are the things I’m still scoring a “could to do better” on…

Keeping in touch with friends! There’s room for a lot of improvement here.

Relaxation and managing stress… aherm… yah I still totally SUCK at this.

Diet and exercise… more to come about this soon, but its time I got into an actual exercise routine.  Oh and yeah I’m ashamed to say that the beginners’ yoga DVD is still in its wrapping.  Ali FAIL.

I’m giving myself a pat on the back well done but also a stern more work to be done here, girl… KEEP MOVING!

Ali xX

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