Woooo I am a naughty girl. I’ve been craving a chocolate cupcake for a few days now. I used to eat them quite often but I kind of gave them up as part of that healthy living thing. Somerfield (my local supermarket) best ever chocolate cupcakes have been on my mind. I even had a dream about them. This craving was not going away, so tonight I indulged… and it felt good! Totally sucks that they only sell these sins in boxes of 4 …….so so naughty!
I’ve been terrible. I haven’t even been near the Wii Fit in over a week. That’s terrible. It makes me feel guilty every time I go into the front room and see the thing lying there untouched. It knows… and now I don’t want to switch it on because it’s gonna tell me off and I’ll have put in like a bazillion pounds! I can see that chart now… the line is gonna be right off the screen and it’s gonna scream at me “You lazy cow!!”
To make matters worse, I SLEPT through my healthy living clinic appointment. I’m scared of the nurse now, too, and I did so well last time I can tell you right now I’ve put those two pounds back on and then some! I can’t believe I slept through my appointment… the shame. I was joking about it last night because, let’s face it, it’s no fun to go to a healthy living appointment when you have been living anything but healthy. I wasn’t actually planning on missing the thing… honest judge! Now I have to call and make a new appointment. Maybe I can get one in two weeks time and just bust a gut to make things better :S I hate calling the surgery. There’s another thing I’ve been avoiding. I don’t want to call to make this new appointment. I really don’t… because, you see, there’s another appointment I’ve been putting off. I got the dreaded letter in the post a few weeks ago and stuffed it somewhere conveniently out of sight. I’ve been not quite forgetting about it ever since.
The time has come… I am due for my first EVER smear test… and I DON’T WANNA GO!!! Now, to be fair, I have NO clue why it’s bothering me so much. I mean I’ve had internal… aherm… examinations… internal ultrasound and other such pleasantries that involve several people looking and touching, poking and removing bits of my most intimate areas without one ounce of fun or pleasure. It’s not like the embarrassing undignified legs akimbo position is new to me. Ohh no, how I wish that were so… and I love oh so much how each doctor has tired to make pleasant small talk while… aherm… working… WTF… do what you have to do and let me out of here. I don’t wanna talk about the weather or what I’m doing at the weekend while you hands are… oh gawd I’m blushing… shhhhhhhh SHUT UP! It REALLY did not help me that the last time I went, said doctor was a young and ohhh so yummy gentleman. You really shouldn’t be thinking about these things while… but I was. I have to laugh about it or I’d cry. Really does not help that the magazine I had had grabbed to read while waiting was Time Out Chicago – the SEX edition. Nice move Ali. D’oh!! Even after all this though, I’m scared of a routine smear. I don’t wanna do it.
Actually I’ve been dreading this time ever since my first internal examination when the nurse and consultant actually argued right in front of me about what age I should have said test. The nurse had scared me with a huuge lecture about not having been yet when my GP had told me I was still too young. Turns out the doctor was right and I escaped for a couple more years but NO MORE 😦 I’m dreading this.
Before you start thinking how irresponsible I am, I KNOW how important this is and I WILL go… I promise. I just don’t wanna.
I’m drawing a line after the consumption of cupcakes and this week of bad behavior… back to good habits…