Sleep problems are back to bother me again and this time they have taken on a new form just to confuse/irritate me. For the last few nights I’ve been having this issue where I’m drifting off to sleep can’t keep my eyes open type thing… so comfortable on my pillow. I just know I’m so close to that wonderful land of nod when something happens. The best way for me to describe it is that I somehow get startled back awake like something scared me or made me jump out of my skin. I find myself heart racing, dry mouth, tingles to the tips of my fingers and toes…. the whole deal as if something really frikkin’ frightened me. So bizarre and if it was a one off, no big deal – just close your eyes, breathe, count to ten and go back to sleep. Yeah, except this same occurrence is repeating every time I’m about to drop off. It’s like my brain is actually SCARED it might fall asleep. What’s going on with that!? I need my sleep and you know having these repeated little adrenaline spikes – that’s exhausting in itself.
In other news I’ve started on the mammoth task of filling in all the paper work required to volunteer at the local hospital before the interview on the 26th of June. There are pages and pages of this form – criminal record check, confidentiality agreement, medical questionnaire… all very necessary to safeguard myself and of course employees and patients. I get it. I’m not complaining (much), it’s just time consuming and heck I need my doctor’s help for this medical thing. I don’t understand half the questions then there are other times when my answers are too long and detailed for the space given to me. They want exact dates too. Immunizations… hmmm… see all I know is while I was young a bunch of needles got stuck in me at various different times. Some medical terms were vaguely mentioned, but I don’t trust myself to remember what they all were for and as for DATES… pfft… forget it. I’ve made first contact with another couple of volunteering opportunities too, trying to make myself busy with things that will support this all important college application next year.
I’m changing job broker again. Apparently the advisor in my area has moved on, so I’ll be working with someone else yet again. I have to go and meet the new lady next week. I really hope this is going to be a lot less frustrating and more helpful now that I know what hours I need to keep available for college. On that subject I’m thinking more and more that it may be wise for me to look to take on part time work only, given all that I was told about how though this college thing is going to be. I’m so scared to take on too much and wind up back in a right mess losing the will to live (read: falling back into depression /anxiety). There must be someone out there who has about 20 hours a week work for me. I will keep hunting!
Oh and yeah I know its only National Donut Day over in the USA, but I’m celebrating anyways… mmm donuts