I’m a lucky girl in that Kayak Man makes dinner for me most days and he’s not a bad cook either. Seen as I’m failing at the part of my Master Plan that states I will learn to cook more, largely due to budget issues and the fact that I’m a real fussy eater, I’m very grateful that the guy seems more motivated and more creative than yours truly. But his latest offering has me feeling bothered. You see, the man decided it was time to be adventurous and branch out in the meat department and he bought himself a rabbit… which he then proceeded to make into a wonderful stew that we shared for a late lunch today given that I slept far too much and didn’t get up till way past a time that could be considered normal.
Now I am not one to shy away from trying something new and indeed I have eaten and enjoyed a wide range of game meats in the past. Yes, I confess I’m an indiscriminate meat eater. I love pheasant and pigeon and venison… even veal although the welfare issues have me trying to avoid this last one lately. If I’m going to eat meat it seems only right that I should be prepared to eat it all and not prize some animals over others.
But this rabbit thing is causing my conscience problems…
I’ve had rabbit stew once before in my life at a young age… my mother only revealing what this new meat was once I’d cleared my plate and proudly told those at dinner with me that it was YUMMY! At the time it didn’t really concern me, I have to say and I’ve always remembered enjoying the dish so when KM declared that would be his new delicacy it never bothered me.
Until he brought the animal home and it was defrosting in a metal bowl. I became uneasy… VERY uneasy… and to be honest, I didn’t want to eat it. Why? Well… let’s just say I have come to know a few more bunnies since that childhood meal. My very first pet was a small black and white thing named Poppy. The memory of Gadget Guy’s little girl Indy head butting my shoe repeatedly when I sat on his living room floor still makes me smile… and then… there’s Chip. Chip is Gadget Guy’s second bunny (excuse me… Gadget Guy here editing for Ali… technically Chip is our fourth bunny, though he lived with Indy during her last few years… so Ali was able to spend time with both of them) and even though it’s completely irrational, I lubs that bunny. He makes me giggle my ass off every time I watch him. I’ve even had to make my own folder for the little video clips I have of him and I confess I watch them sometimes just to cheer myself up. He’s cute and fluffy which helps but I think really it’s the stories Gadget Guy will tell me of this shoe tossing peanut butter loving critter that just show his personality and the joy he brings to his “parents”. The best thing ever is hearing Mrs. Gadget Guy yelling at him for being naughty… many many sniggers.
So tonight, with my belly full of rabbit stew, I have the guilt. I can’ even watch my Chip Clips or look at his little bunny eyes because… internets… I feel ashamed and I fear he knows what I did. Of course he doesn’t because 1) he lives in Chicago and couldn’t give a dam what I ate for dinner so long as he gets his and 2) HE’S A BUNNY … but I feel I have wronged him and all his kind and somehow I must make it up to him. Yup, I even joked that Gadget Guy needs to give him extra carrots tonight from me (you can buy off bunnies right?) I feel I can’t mention Chip while my tummy is still full of rabbit and there’s more in a pan in my kitchen. The size of this vat of stew KM made… and well I can’t throw it out because then the bunny will have died in vain and that’s WORSE. We must finish it. I taste guilt in every spoonful, not helped by Kayak Man’s cheerful jokes about eating Bugs Bunny… at which point though he’s laughing I’m seeing the guy morphed into Elmer Fudd and hearing a refrain of “Kill the wabbit Kill the wabbit Kill the wabbit!”
I can’t do it. I never wanna eat a bunny again… and that makes me a hypocrite. I mean it don’t seem right to have all these issues with eating this meat just because I have met a handful of fluffy cute bunnies in my life and yet happily chomp on a rump steak just because I’ve never had the opportunity to make friends with a cow.
Now for the first time in my life I have meat eater’s guilt and there’s only one way for me to get over that: BACON. You see my friends, bacon tastes sooo good… SOOOO GOOD… that somehow even thought I probably should by all rational explanations feel just as guilty, I just don’t. In fact BACON is the major reason I am not walking down the road to vegetarianism. RIGHT NOW.