It’s that time again July IComLeavWe is here! A very warm welcome to you if that’s how you came to be here. This is the first time I’ve written a little intro for the occasion and to be honest I’m pretty nervous. Let me get the thing that’s worrying me out of the way first. I’m an infertile wanna be midwife. I write about all parts of my life on my blog so sometimes you’ll find me ranting about the pain and injustice of infertility because, let’s face it, this thing is a bitch… but then in other posts I’ll be talking about my feelings and my journey as I chase my dream to become a registered midwife in the UK. I say this upfront because I absolutely do not want anything I write about here to cause you distress, so if you are feeling fragile or just not in the mood please go ahead and bypass my ramblings. I will not take offense, I promise. Please know that you take with you my very best wishes in hopes that your dreams come true.
I have PCOS (DX Summer 2006) and some other medical history including a heart problem which basically means the chances of me conceiving and then safely carrying a baby to term are… well, ridiculously small. At the time that all this came to light, I struggling to recover from an abusive relationship with my father as a result of which, amongst other things, means that relations between me and my mum are very strained at best. By the end of 2006 I had lost my job, seen a relationship break down, moved house and was suffering anxiety and severe depression. I’m not proud of it, but things just all fell apart. Fast forward to now and you join me as I’m trying to put the pieces all back together. I haven’t had a panic attack in months (fingers crossed). I’m returning to college in September. I’m looking for work (me and a million other people). I’m in a relationship with a guy who’s been my close friend for nearly 8 years. At 27 he just graduated college and wants us to be married by this time next year. While we are not TTC at the moment I really struggle with commitment because of my past and my infertility.
Welcome to my journey…
Oh I should introduce the guy in the background. We refer to him as Gadget Guy. He’s a very good friend I met online. He currently lives in Chicago with Mrs. Gadget Guy and their oh so cute bunny Chip and he looooves gadgets (the clues in the name). (Editor: Hello… Gadget Guy here… <waves>!) I tell you about him because, well, I’m dyslexic and he’s my editor/human spell checker. If you want to read about it the info is here.
My master plan is here
If you think I’m crazy for wanting to be a midwife, you should read these posts.
A few people have written their A-Z for an intro over the last couple of months. Such a cute idea, I had to give it a go:
A: America – My Favorite place to Travel /explore/learn about/the place I would live if given the choice.
B: Baseball – My sport. The only one I really follow
C: Cooking – something I wish I was better at
D: Dyslexic- Yes I am.
E: Exercise – also referred to as the “E” thing. Something I need to do more of.
F: French – The only other language I can speak.
G: Gadget Guy- My good friend from Chicago also my human spell checker 😛
H: Home – something I’m looking for.
I: Infertility – the main cause of my depression / frustration… perhaps anger.
J: Job Seeking – uugh it sucks
K: Kayak Man – My significant other
L: Liverpool – the nearest big city to me
M: Midwife – something I hope to become.
N: Needle Work – something I wish I had more time for
O: Ocean – something very beautiful to me.
P: PCOS – something I struggle with
Q: Questions – I often have them and I nearly always answer them when I’m asked.
R: Reading – something I will be doing a lot more of over the next few years.
S: Scottish – my actual nationality
T: Theatre – my forgotten passion. How I miss it
U: University – The journey I hope to start, that Kayak Man just finished
V: Volunteer- something I do for the Red Cross and local hospital.
W: Wedding – the most stressful word in my life at the moment.
X= Kisses! – I know I cheated but how can you not love them the chocolate kind and the real ones.
Y: Yankees – My team see B
Z: Zamboni – possibly my most favorite word it always makes me chuckle
So there we have it Ali from A- Z … Happy IComLeavWe.