Frustration and guilt are the order of the day after this weekend. Don’t get me wrong, my Weekend was GREAT. I went home and actually managed a night out at the Wet Spot Cabaret in Leeds which I love and haven’t actually managed to visit since last JUNE.
I had a fantastic night out with KM and our burlesque buddies who form the queue party before doors open.
However… a couple of things really got on top of me and I ended up feeling totally ugh with regards to my healthy eating kick.
First, poor planning: We have to leave our flat in Cheshire around lunch time in order to get to Leeds in time for the queue party. I woke up late and actually ended up skipping both breakfast and lunch. Bad, bad move I know, but we assumed it would be ok and that we would just grab something to eat at the venue, right?
Wrong… They were fully booked and the only thing we could actually get to eat was a packet of crisps or a portion of chips. By the end of our so called meal I’d had 2 bags of salt and vinegar crisps and a portion and a half of Chips. Woops.
The thing is, I felt so disappointed in myself. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t survive on this diet thing if I didn’t allow myself the occasional treat. Nothing is forbidden on the Slimming World plan, it’s just that some things have to be controlled so large glasses of hot chocolate, flapjack, chocolate, dessert and even crisps and chips have all been on my menu in the last 7 weeks. All be it, in smaller quantities than before.
What upset me about this particular weekend was the lack of control. It’s fine in my mind if I make a choice to eat something I know is bad for me / part of the controlled foods section. Usually, I try to really take the time to consider if I actually want the item, then I make a real effort to sit down, take my time and really enjoy it.
The point about this indulgence was that I felt forced into it through lack of forward thinking and that made me upset with myself. It’s one thing cheating on your diet when you want to, but that night I actually WANTED to eat something healthy but couldn’t because when you haven’t eaten all day you take the food that’s on offer.
Later that night, a lovely lady at the table next to me was eating a millionaire’s short bread which I really wanted. KM offered to go and get me one. Finding that there were none left, he brought back two cupcakes for me to choose from with the best of intentions. I picked a wonderful strawberry creation. Trouble is, my actual craving was for millionaires shortbread and this want was clearly not satisfied by a cupcake as the next day when I found some I then ate 2 (admittedly snack size) pieces of the caramel chocolate goodness on top of the strawberry cupcake from the night before.
UGGH- why is it so difficult to realise what you actually are craving and say no to alternatives if they aren’t what you want; a lesson I am clearly still trying to learn !
Here’s me ready for our night out :